Found alcohol in my daugters room?

Thats strange to me becasue i live in Australia where the legal drinking age is 18, so here it wouldnt be a problem.

I think you should give her a speech, but not THE speech.

Tell her how important it is that she not hide stuff like that from you, because you'd rather be there to help her if she runs into any problems then know that she doesn't trust you and won't talk to you about things.

I'm a "good" girl, but I NEVER told my parents about my wild drinking/partying habits in college or the few times in high school, because I knew they would just freak. They still believe I started drinking magically at the age of 21. If they had been more reasonable about it, and allowed me to drink wine with them on occasion, and turned it into a learning lesson about drinking responsibly, then I think things would be very different.

By the by, if your daughter is in high school, not college, then the conversation needs to be much stricter. It's important that she understands the difference between drinking under your roof and under someone else's. Plus, if she is in high school and she has this conversation with you now, that will be a great segway into appropriate drinking in college.

I think the good thing about my experiences is that I did it all, or knew people who did it all, and more importantly, knew how to sneak around doing it all, so my children will never get away with that around me.

If she has the alcohol in her room, it means she's already drinking, so a big speech on the evils of drinking probably won't do her much good.

I was in a similar situation at that age- I was 18 and my parents found my bottle of Bacardi Orange. Their solution was brilliant. They took the bottle and promptly whipped up some rum and cokes for all of us. I was allowed to have one, and they both had one. The three of us finished the bottle over the course of the next few weeks. I was allowed to have one after dinner as long as I wasn't planning on driving anywhere. Instead of telling me that drinking was evil and that I shouldn't do it, they taught me to drink responsibly!

So here is my opinion for you- take the bottle, whip up some Midori Sours, and teach your daughter to drink like an adult instead of hiding it under her bed!

I say Finish the vaccuming and bring the drink out into the kitchen and makes drinks for you, your husband and your daughter. I Think if your in America and it's illegal for your daughter to be drinking or even purchasing the drink in the first place, i think you should sit down with her and your hubby, and discuss with her how she got the alcohol, how often she drinks, and have a heart to heart with her about the dangers of alcohol. Have a calm and collected talk and then, you're not going to need to talk about it again- drink together to teach / show her how as a responsible adult, you acknowledge that she is growing up (letting her drink with you) but at the same time, still reminding her gently of her responsibilitys as a minor.

I'll give you my honest opinion and I just think that you invaded her privacy in a way.. you were doing a great thing vaccuuming for her in her room but i think that you should leave the achohal. I believe that kids are going to experiment weather you want it to happen or not. She's probably smoked weed already... i'm not trying to judge your parenting skills or your daughter i just think its something that a teen goes through and at today's rate the drinking starting age is getting lower and lower and i think its really sad. I started drinking when I was 14. I'm 18 now and totally out of that phase. At the same time it would be a good idea to give her a speech. My dad never gave me speeches neither did my mom but i would've prefered it my dad wanted me to learn from my lessons. I guess it worked out okay.

I'm assuming you are living in the US? As a 21 year old remembering that time of my life not very long ago, I would suggest talking to her about it. You don't have to give lectures or berate her. There are other ways to handle it. My mother always spoke to me like an adult and conferred options in whatever situation. If you think you can do that, that is what I would suggest. Get the convo started by moving or removing her bottle. Don't really say anything, just let her notice herself. That way you can gauge how often she may be using.

I googled and found this website. It may help. Just remember to be contemplative and relaxed. No interrogating!

http://www.familytalkonline.com/docs/home.htm

Good Luck!

I would confront her about it, but I wouldn't be too hard on her. She is 18 and even though she is not legally old enough to drink, she is capable of making her own decisions. Just have a sit down talk with her and tell that that if she is illegally drinking to just keep it under control. I wouldn't yell at her and try to discipline her for it, because it will only make her want to do it more. Make sure she doesn't have a drinking problem and explain the consequences of underage drinking to her.

She should have had that speech years ago.

We began the speech about drugs and alcohol when our kids hit 8 years old each. They are 11 and 14 now and terrified of going to prison. Yes, they know because we have told them every bad thing that can come from drinking and doing drugs. How they can overdose and die or wind up in prison as someone's property. It's a fact, not a fairy tale.

None of the above. I have 2 children when they turned 16, which is when I started drinking. I let them have some drinks. Yes it sounds awful, but I would rather for them to get drunk at home where I know they are safe. Than out at a friends house where any thing could happen. Or may be out riding around drinking.

Just let her know that drinking is bad and that if she continues to drink in your home that it will no longer be her home. As far as I am concerned she is old enough to drink, when I was 18 it was legal to drink but the difference is you don't want her to drink and the only card you hold is that it's your home. Good luck.

It really depends on how you feel about her underage drinking (assuming you're in the USA). Let her know that you found the bottle and just advice her not to get too drunk, use good judgement, and be safe.