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When should we have our first child?
My wife and I have been married for close to two years now. We're happy, financially stable, she's 28 and I'm 38. She's a doctor and works full time, commutes 150 km a day and is doing a Masters degree (online). She also has polycystic ovaries. She's worried about infertility but at the same time her Masters will complete in September 2009 and she's having a hard time coping with studies and work. I don't mind waiting but I don't like to see her anxious about having a child but I don't want her to get pregnant too early and have her job/studies jeopardized. Plus we live with her parents since she has two disabled brothers whom she helps take care of, so we have our hands full but we don't want to wait till its too late to have our own kids. She can't quit her job because I don't earn enough to support both of us and a family...we really need her income. She'll only get 45 days maternity leave though. Should we wait till she finishes her degree or should we start trying before?
6 Answers
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
well you both need to live your own lives, as in dont not have children because you feel obligated to look after someone elses children. And why not have a baby, your wife have her 45 days maternity leave and then you look after the baby. im sure you will be capable.
EDIT- If she has a problem with her ovaries then the sooner the better, you dont want to get a few years down the track and it not happen for you. also 28 isnt that young!!!
- 1 decade ago
Whenever you both feel ready for it. I remember an old cartoon I once read and liked. He said "Let's have a baby" She said "Let's try getting up to feed the cat at 3 a.m. and see how that works first." She's 28 so it's not like it has to be today, she could wait a year or two or a few more, no harm in waiting until things are more stable before bringing a child into the picture as they are a full time job in itself. Good luck with the decision making!
- 1 decade ago
It seems like she has her hands full right now! I would wait until she is done with her Master's or close to it before she gets pregnant. With her condition she needs to minimize her stress even more so during her pregnancy and once the baby is born. She is only 28, that is not old! Nowadays, smart, educated people are having babies later. If she waits a year or two she will be better able to dedicate herself to her pregnancy and child. Good luck!
- Mrs.BlessedLv 71 decade ago
First of all, it is so sweet of you to be concerned for her. You say she is only 28. I would say she still has a good 10 years to think about a baby. I would allow her the time to finish her degree, because having a baby right now would not allow her to be her best at her studies. She will know when she is ready. It's just an instinct.
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- 1 decade ago
It seems to me that you dont have the time or space for a baby.
You both work and have two other people to care for.
you are getting older too (no offence!!)
Would a baby fit in and get the attention it deserves?
I just hate it whenpeople have kids then hire a nanny to look after them 24/7.
its careless and nasty.
- 1 decade ago
When you can have the time to raise a child then you should do so. A child needs full attention.
