Taking a step back?

sounds like a good idea.

coz u guys been together for long and love each other.

and both of you sound like you wanna make it work.

but,

for me taking a step back in my relationship was a mistake coz we both young and silly, while on the break we both found new people to meet.

stil miss each other tho. I stil secretly talk to my other half coz i miss her and visa versa.... but its almost like cheating coz we both 'moved on'

i recon living together/sexual relationships are a priviledge for the married.

and getting married is a priviledge for the financially secure >.>

so yeah your right, wait til your more steady and secure.... but save yourselves for each other. coz while people are on breaks..... almost any person of the opposite sex seems to be attractive.

wow this is a tough one

there are a few things going on here.

first yes you should try to get your selves together financially first.

another thing that you two need to decide is where your future is going. i am in a relationship now that we are both financially stable. i make about 130K she about 60K.

bills are no longer a problem. but now we are seeing other differences that are popping up.

i am a saver and she is a spender. i have a large 401K, stock account and savings for my son's college. she has none of the above.

so while current bills may be a topic of discussion you need to talk more about your future too.

my advise is this:

1st tell him that you put this question out here and share with him the answers.

2nd lay out a plan to catch up on current bills then start planning for your future.

3rd talk about children whether you want or don't want them and how you plan to pay for them if you do.

4th plan a vacation - it is very important in a relationship that you take a little time for yourself. it doesn't have to be much. just a trip for you two to relax in peace on your own. if you save $23.00 per week that is about $1200.00 per year and that is enough for you two to take a small cruise, go to disney (staying outside the park) or something that you want to do.

5th communicate. if your communication breaks down then your done.

as for his giving up his job because he does not like it. grow up. i don't love my job but its a means to an end. don't ever leave a job before you start the next and always leave on good terms.

anyway hope this helped.

feel free to im or email me if i can help

m

I am in just such a situation right now with a lady a good deal younger than myself. She suggested taking a break of sorts, but since that goes counter to my sensibilities and frame of reference, I just interpret that as a break up and have no real faith that this will be "worked out". (Of course I hope I'm wrong; I miss her a great deal, but I've never advocated walking away from something as a tactic for fixing it). I wish for all of us a positive outcome.

I will definately be watching the answers on this question. I am myself wondering the same thing right now, for different reasons.