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just wrote this!!! honest opinons, please?
when there's nothing left to burn
you have to set yourself on fire
i handed my life to you
in the hopes you'd take me higher
and who was i to know
this would replete me with desire?
you're the most addictive drug
that i ever have required
now i'm hooked on you
i can't determine a supplier
i desperately need escape
because my mind must be rewired
we're both waging the war
this is reconaissance fire
i'm balancing my thoughts
afoot on a tightwire
i can all but feel your shadow
yet my hopes i must retire
you're my life, my world, my soul
you're my bloody rose of briar.
constructive criticism greatly appreciated!
12 Answers
- magnetic_azimuthLv 61 decade agoFavorite Answer
i thought it was fantastic and the imagery is great
keep up the good work,
- 1 decade ago
thats really great. i really dont believe in giving criticism about poems. each poem is written by the poet, and they write it with their heart and their feelings and soul. and what you feel is never wrong. it is personal and about yourself, and no poems are ever bad. it expresses emotion greatly and i love it so great job! it is awesome!!
- Anonymous1 decade ago
wow... that is really good but it is kind of depressing. if that is what you are going for, great! otherwise, add a little extra saying something like i know i can move on blah blah blah something that rhymes with fire lol good poem :D
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Wow This is cool
If you want more poems
Go to
answersforyou,110mb,com/books/
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- Anonymous1 decade ago
i really like this.
i think that its perfect the way it is.
but if i were to suggest anything, i'd be to add a little more detail and imagery.
good job
=D
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Very good i myself would not be able to do anything like that. Sorry I can't offer you any cc.
- 1 decade ago
i luv it! lol uummm, contructive criticism...hmm...there isnt too much you need to fix, it sounds really good :)
- Anonymous1 decade ago
I think it's pretty
