Healthy & Blissful Marriage?

There are many things that make a healthy marriage. Here are 10 of ours (no particular order):

1. Romance & Affection. This includes but is not limited to sensational sex. We still dance in the kitchen while making dinner, cuddle while watching TV and hold hands when we walk the dog. We take romantic vacations, go out for dinner and sip wine and talk on the patio in summer and by the fireplace in winter.

2. Honesty and 100% Trust. We talk openly and honestly about anything and everything - no secrets, no off-limits topics and no using each others' honesty against them. We trust each other implicitly - no lies, no suspicion, no questions.

3. Mutual respect. We have NEVER called each other names, ridiculed - not even in the worst of times. We treat each other with loving respect.

4. Shared dreams and goals. We have worked shoulder-to-shoulder to achieve career, financial and other goals. We talk about our dreams for the future and make them come true together. We always have a "fire in the belly" and we keep it burning for each other. If I get discouraged or down, he lights the fire in my belly again and I do the same for him.

5. Saying "I love you"...and saying why, how much and for how long - forever! I call him "the love of my life" and he gets misty eyed every single time. He calls me "the lady of his dreams" and I feel beautiful, desirable, special. We are still "in" love with each other.

6. Fitness & Appearance. We are both active, work out and eat healthy. We put a high value on looking our best for each other and still feel very physically attracted to each other.

7. Faithfulness. Neither of us has ever cheated on the other - not even close. When we give our word, we keep our word. We have a very strong sense of family and it is impossible to even think of betraying each other or our kids.

8. Accountability. We are both able to own our share of mistakes and contribution to problems. We have stopped playing the "blame game" and trying to change each other and it has made us happier and stronger as individuals and as a couple.

9. Individuality. It took some work and struggle but we have learned to respect each other's individuality. One of the best things is that we don't assume we know each other - we still find out things we didn't know and it keeps us from being stale and complacent.

10. Lifelong Learning. We enjoy learning new things and it keeps us stimulated and exciting - keeps us in the joy of discovery. We grow as individuals and as we do, we pull each other to grow, teach each other, improve ourselves, our relationship and our life. We are always having great conversations, making friends and having fun!

People say marriage is a lot of work but it really isn't. If people are stuck in power struggles, blaming, being a victim, feeling confined, etc. marriage is their horror story. It doesn't have to be.

If it is a labor of love for both partners, it is a pleasure. There is nothing more beautiful than the privilege of sharing someone's life and no greater joy than having someone who is willing to put his heart and soul into sharing yours.

This is the real "secret" - knowing that whatever kind of marriage you create is your creation.

Guys this is not Pandit specific.These are customs that vary from creed to creed.My father is also a Pandit and his jajmans respect and honor him so much that they prefer to have all their family marriages and other auspicious ceremonies carried by him only,be it locally or globally.So,if people have so much reliance in him,atleast he must be having more knowledge than any of us(especially non-pandits). So,coming to the point,in most communities like Sindhi,Sikh etc including Marwari(mine),there is the custom of 4 pheras which signify: Dharma i.e. religious and moral duties,Artha i.e. prosperity, Kama i.e. love and pleasures and Moksha i.e. salvation. In the first three pheras the bridegroom leads the bride and in the fourth one,the bride takes the lead. Also in our customs the marriage vows are taken after the pheras and not during them. That was all that I knew.

Honesty

Openness

communication

Respect

Trust

Selfless Service

Patients

Adaptation

Unconditional Love

Ability to Forgive and Forget

Excitement

Sex

Self Awareness

Ability to Listen

The care and feeding of husbands

Dr. Laura Slessinger

Keep the momma happy and everything else will work out someway, somehow.

Respect

Communication

Love

Trust

Commitment

Trust, understand, good communication, romantic, unselfish, love of course.