Need a woman's advice-My soon to be Ex-Wife is driving me crazy.?

Baby Boy, throw that b**** in the river. You don't need this crap going into the military or any time really. She sounds like she is only wanting to use you right now--tell her to go **** herself and leave you the h*** a lone. Believe me you need your head on straight to get through basic and then there is a WAR going on and who is to say you want be deployed , not the army. Son, for your own peace of mind, your families and your friends that really care about and love you. I realize there a 2 children, they are the ones that have been hurt the most, when it is your time with them set up to pick them up in a public place (McDonald's, Wal-Mart) or even your or her parents house, just don't allow yourself to be alone with her right now. Take care of yourself, remember their really are people that genuinely care about you, but not her.

Shes sending Major Mixed Messages, and you have to be the sane person here, and tell her no when she swings, very temporarily, your way. Because whats shes really doing, even if she doesn't know it, is testing you to see how far away she can push you while still being able to reel you back in. The problem with that, one of them, anyway, is that gives you NO say or power over your own life.

I'm sorry that you two have two kids mixed up in all of this, but you, on your own, cannot make her see or do anything, and shes clearly so messed up that she has no idea what she wants, day to day.

Even if you pulling back and reclaiming your own right to control that part of your life appears to move her to go for the divorce, at least that way, she won't be able to treat you as her personal yo-yo. And, theres nothing worse than being a captive of a yo-yo-ing drama queen.

Maybe you have to stop being physical or a while u back up emotionally. You have to be strong in this. To be able to see clearly whats happening There is alot of pain for you and her and the kids. Ask 4 help, take care of yourself: When you are lost you need a good map. Sometimes we get lost in life.There are people out there who are kind and will help you get back a sense of balance.Eat healthy, sleep, pay bills, buy a cool pet. gardening, swim, go see movies,go 4 walks (no coffee or pills) Find out your hobbies, hand out with friends that she doesn't know. Go find a decent concillor(some community centres are sliding scale fee) Move slowly don't do anything crazy. Are u sure you are ready for gruelling training in Army? Can you wait till you sort stuff out? You need to rest some. I'll pray 4 u.Peace friend.

Suggest she talk to a professional because she bringing you on a emotional coaster. This in the end will damage the kids so she needs to get her act together for her sake and the kids and your peace of mind. Do not have sex with her again. Talk to her, don't tell her things she'll want to hear unless it actually going to happen.

Good for you on working on your own issues this will only make you stronger for yourself and your kids.

How you described her if it's accurate then clearly she is not a good mom, however except for maybe the bong none of that is illegal. Unless dyfs finds illegal drugs they are not going to remove him from his mother because of his bad hygiene, old clothes or glued sneakers. I believe unless you feel he is in danger calling dyfs is only going to cause more problems for him. I would wait until he can choose. Wow marrying a man with 2 ex-wives you must be a very brave woman!!!

Is she bi-polar? Diagosed or not it sounds like she might be.

Personally I'd tell her that you love her but you can't deal with the inconsistancy. You wish things could be different and your family could stay together but until she can come up with a permanent decision and back it up that you can't keep putting your heart on the line and your life on hold.

Best of luck...

When she said; "Things that she doesn't want to talk to me about, and " She keeps saying "WE need to date other people" that should have been your first clue that she is seeing someone else. Thats why she is very confused, because she does not know how to deal with this deception. She is very confused and confusing you as well, my advice is to just let her be. You have to much on your plate with going to the army, and your children let her work out her own problems, because you should not have to deal with hers right now.

I think she loves u still and is having a hard time letting go. Its like she knows the right thing for both of u is a divorce but she still loves u and breaking up is hard when u r still in love

I am sorry for the way she is treating you. Sounds like she wants to control you for her own sake.

Don't let her use you for sex...that is demeaning to yourself. Move on and take this time fo figure out who you are and what you want, this will make you happier and more self confident in the long run. The marriage is over and so should the relationship.

Don't do this to yourself any longer.

She's trying to keep you on the line while still fishing for something bigger and better. Cut the line and let her realize you're the one that got away. Good luck in your love life. And know that I appreciate your commitment to our country.