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If your spouse had a tattoo related to their previous spouse (deceased)?
How would you feel about it if you were getting married to someone (you and they had both been married before, but they had been widowed) and they had a tattoo related to their former spouse who is deceased? Their former spouse treated them well, is the parent of their children and someone they had a great relationship with, but was taken from them early by illness or accident. During their marriage, they chose to get matching tattoos because they both believed that divorce was not an option so there was no harm in having the tattoos. This person is now planning to remarry after the death of their first spouse and the person they are planning to marry is you, how do you feel about the tattoo? Can you understand that it is a symbol of the relationship they had and not have it bother you or would it be a constant sore spot for you? Keep in mind, you also were married previously and carry variations of baggage into the new relationship. What do you think?
The reason I asked is because the man I am planning to marry soon is older than I am and we both believe that divorce is not an option. We have considered getting matching tattoos and my only concern is not "what happens if we get divorced?" but rather, "what happens when he passes away (which he will since the age difference is about 20 years) if I decide to remarry, will a new spouse take issue with this?" From the answers so far, I am guessing the answer is "no," but I guess we'll see if this sheds any further light on the question . . .
15 Answers
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
The tattoo was related to a specific moment in time for that couple. Life has moved forward, but that moment still existed. I think it would be immature, and small minded to get upset about it now. IF he should choose to have a tattoo for your, or if you both decided to match tattoos then it would be a reflection of a 'now moment' for the two of you. In 10 years, 20 years.....who knows what the situation will be. It could be the same thing for somebody else. Let it go, and get on with living life with this person in the now.
- 1 decade ago
Tattoo doesn't really matter. Especially if you're carrying baggage into the relationship. My husband and I were married two months when I found tons of pics of his ex and his kids. I was pissed! Then when he explained that he was keeping them for the kids cause she was a completely different person now and he wanted them to remember her when she wasn't that person, I melted a bit. We still cut down on the number cause I thought there were WAY too many, but he kept some for them so they could remember their mom in a good way. So not all things are bad. It shouldn't be a sore spot.
- 1 decade ago
I would like to think that I would be understanding. As long as this tattooed person didn't talk about the deceased spouse all the time, I don't see how it could be a problem.
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- 1 decade ago
I think personally that it's wonderful that the guy had his then-wife's name tattooed, and it wouldn't bother me. Specifically, he loved her enough and divorce wasn't an option. I would love a man that I knew wouldn't cheat on me as he didn't on her. He had a past life and the tattoo is a symbol of that, just as she had a past life as well. We shouldn't erase the memories of the life that made us what we are today.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
That was then and what THEY wanted to do. How would you feel if it was you that had been in that situation and your new spouse asked you to get rid of it? Let her have her tattoo and make new memories with her, if she decided to get rid of it great and if not then just make the best of it and move on....good luck
- 1 decade ago
I wouldn't have a problem with it b/c it showed how dedicated they were to their first spouse. My husband and I have each others names tattooed on ourselves and are planning on getting matching tattoos soon. We do it to show our love for each other and that it is forever. If something ever happened to him and I did happen to remarry (don't plan on it), I would not remove it. And I wouldn't want my future spouse to request that of me. It wouldn't seem fair. It would be asking me to rid myself of something that made me who I am.
- 1 decade ago
She would have to get the tattoo covered. She needs to move on with life. I know she was widowed but she fell in love again and it is not right to you to have someone else name or what ever it is tattoo you them. It is up to you if you can deal with it or not. Me I would ask her to get it covered with something else.
- me...Lv 51 decade ago
well you knew about the tattoo when you were dating and if someone could not handle that they better not get married that meant something to them in there past and if they don't want to give it up then I guess the person that is all bent out of shape better move on!
- 1 decade ago
To me that is different then if they were divorced. They had a loving relationship not one that ended badly. I would be fully unserstanding.
