My friend is completely whipped in a unhealthy relationship,how can I approach him?(WAIT FOR ME TO EXPLAIN!)?

Hello my friend...I would say your friend is in over his head and has no idea what he is in for. If this young woman would cheat on her fiance she will surely hurt your friend and not think about it for one moment. As I see it he is nothing but a toy for her right now as she no doubt hates being alone. When he isn't about she most likely is running around with her other friend. You friend, never dating seriously is thrilled with the prospect of someone that really cares for him. In my opinion she is not the one. This can only end in disaster. You bring up the point she cuts herself. ....hmmmm not what I would call a mentally balanced women or girl whichever and again in my opinion she will use this disorder to manipulate him. He is still young and needs to stay clear of this young woman until she either gets mental health treatment or decides to run back to the finance. To your friend I say you deserve better after all good things come to those that wait..... Please stay away from this train wreck as I see the train is coming off the tracks already. Never enter a relationship with a person who seems as unstable as this young woman as you are worth much more then this and have meaning to so many more of your true friends. Trust me your lady will come along and when she does my dear young man she will take your breath away......You are still young and should date lots of ladies, my sons didn't marry until their thirties......Palin

I can see your point and I would agree that yes this girl does sound unstable. However I think there are a lot of underlying issues to this that she needs to get help with. Rather than go to your friend could you speak to her about what's wrong and whether or not she is getting the help it sounds like she desperately needs? I think she is insecure which could be brought on by passed experiences. You mentioned she cuts herself - does she make a big thing out of it or does she tried and hide it? You mentioned her mood swings - could she be bipolar?! Yes she has cheated in the past and I know the saying a leopard never changes it's spots but it in some cases it can.

If you do want to talk to your friend maybe advise him to talk to this girl about her problems first ( I think it's kinda obvious she has a few), maybe he could ask her to get help for the sake of there relationship?

However, you might not like this, I think it is the girl that needs help and not your friend, I'm sure he's a lovely guy and doesn't deserve this but he will get over her alot quicker than she will get over her problems if that makes sense.

Also just because it's his first relationship doesn't mean it wont last.

It's so difficult watching someone you care for make the wrong mistakes in life while you stand helplessly by.

He may be so much in love with this girl that he cannot see how abusive she is and as a result, when you approach him about her, you may find that you as the messenger, may get shot in the foot! He may resent the way you feel about this girl that he can see no wrong in.

However, since you feel so strongly about it, it's worth a shot. Take him out to a restaurant or somewhere just the two of you and tell him:

"Please don't hate me for what I am about to say, but not only is it very difficult for me to say these things, I am doing them totally for your interest alone and if I didn't care, I wouldn't even be here saying this." Then instead of simply "trashing" her to him, point out that there are certain things which have you worried about this woman and that you would hate for him to end up in an abusive marriage he feels unable to get out of in the future. Point out that you realise that it is his choice but you just feel that you cannot be quiet because you are a true friend and really care about him.

Gurl, u gotta know that jealousy does exist in this part. Ur jealous..accept it. ur words are all full of anger. Just by reading it, ppl know. Well the thing is , the first thing that u have to do is, if u ever want to advise ur guy fren about tis, please be fair. seperate that feeling that u have fer him and b a gud advisor. be fair and dun be emotional. His gurlfren? Queen control. thatz the word for it. maybe the gf is jealous seeing u together with him ..just the two of u .. i mean as a women, seriously u too would be jealous. I am sure that ur best is aware about her attitude and all.. its 10 years mind u .. and he understands more abt her than u . still, after the 10 years of knowing her and he still wants to love her, respect it!. he chose to be in this relationship and if things were to go wrong, let him learn frm it.. there is always a start in everything. As a fren, be ther when he needs u. Open ur trap when needed and shut it when u must . if all is said and he doesnt want to heed ur warning.. too bad..

I know a girl like this and while shes leaving with another man shes also seeing another and once every 6 months shes seeing another man like your friend (i hope were not talking of the same girl)anyway I think the guy had a hint that shes seeing a number of guys but he just understand her Coz she needs them to cope with her needs (shes a single mother.)My point here is that the guy feels he is her hero.He feels needed,He feels his a savior .he cant leaved her,coz he understand her so much.your friend must understand that they dont have thesame feelings shes just using him. Maybe he should have confidence to his self that he deserves to be love not to be use.

Wow that was long! Talk to him straight and remind him that you are only looking out for him, tell him that you know it's not your business but don't want him to get hurt-good luck

as much as you want to protect your friend from the impending doom you see from an outsiders perspectives, he is going to have to reach his own conclusion about how sad his life really is with her. its his lesson to be learned, not yours.

you continue to pass your test by being there for him. just be there for him when it all comes falling down on him.

as frustrating as it might be for you, he'll have to see it all on his own on his own time.

too..long to read...but I think you are just jealous...that is

my short cut answer to you...lol