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Why do women equate "love" with the physical reaction that occurs when we are with someone for the first...
year to three years after we meet someone we like? There is a change in our brains and chemicals that occur and can be seen through testing during this period of time. Love isn't all there is to a relationship. There is a lot more involved. A choice can be made even when you have that physical reaction and even when you really click with someone on many levels. If there is something that is really wrong, ie, the guy has a record, there is a family history of abuse for him, he wants kids and you don't, etc., etc., etc., women can make a choice to walk away. Yet, due to good old Walt Disney, so many women don't.
What no one tells us about Cinderella and the other princesses is that "happily ever after" looks like have a great honeymoon, having an argument, setting up a wonderful home, having an argument, having a beautiful baby together, him forgetting her birthday, having a lovely second honeymoon, having an argument, but learning to resolve the arguments and communicate well.
The question is right up front. Why do women equate "love" with the physical reaction that occurs when we are with someone for the first
year to three years after we meet someone we like?
The reason I ask is because of women like thinker who say "i think love is everything in a relationship." I see this all too often on the answers here. There is more than love in a relationship. It's a foundation along with trust, honesty, understanding, etc., but it's not "everything."
3 Answers
- Medicine WomanLv 71 decade agoFavorite Answer
Everyone is looking for love, for the happy ever after kind. If they can't find that they settle for what they can get because they are afraid they will never find the kind of love they want and any love is better than none. Some are willing to wait for the perfect love but too many are in a hurry. What they don't realize is that love comes to all usually when they are not looking.
- LindaLouLv 71 decade ago
I guess there is a question in there somewhere maybe???
Physical attraction and "love is blind" is what helps the species to continue - initially! Real lasting meaningful LOVE of course requires MUCH more than this but I think that initial attraction is what draws men & women together enough to consider entering a long term committment - otherwise, it would often not be worth the time,effort & risk.
As love matures and that HEAT wears off one hopes that there is MORE to the union than sex and attraction that helps you transition to the next level of love which is more enduring and more an emotional bond, friendship, sharing, loyal, respect, committment, trust, family, unity etc..... LIKE you mentioned - some people lose all sense of reason and sense in that BLIND stage and get with people who they would never be with if they were in their RIGHT MINDS - but chemically our brains are different then - so REASON is even more important then perhaps - so we can see beyond the blind love and physical draw and into the persons heart & soul to see and know they have MORE to them than meets the eye. Of course if couples would stop basing their relationships on meaningless 1-2nd date sex I'd say we might have a few more lasting marriages and a boat load less STD's huh?
- thinkerLv 51 decade ago
personally...?
i think you are generalising and mixing science with life! i think love is everything in a relationship. if you dont have love, you have nothing to work towards, look forward to or fight for!
love was never a physical thing for myself and we have been together for 9 years and still feel the same, if not, more love than the day i met him!
xx
