how can i make this paragraph better?

In life, there are many people who alter their personality, behaviour and/or image to meet society's standards. There's a tendency for a person to wear a mask to hide their true self, because of the fear of being rejected by society when real identities are revealed. In the movies; Things fall apart, Mean Girls, and, The Mask, one may observe the tendency for people to create a false appearance, in order to conceal their true character from the rest of society.

In the book, "Things Fall A Part," there's a lot of evidence to support the fear that Okowonko experiences. But the fear Okowonko experiences it not that of the usual fear; rather the fear of not being accepted by others.

In life, people "...hide a piece of ourselves from the world.” They hide so hard to mask their true self because they are afraid of being rejected and think that it is the only way to be accepted. In Things Fall Apart, Mean Girls, and The Mask, one can observe how people tend to create a false appearance in order to hide their true character from society because of fear of rejection.

In the book, Things Fall Apart, Okonkwo has an underlying fear of being seen as weak. Early in the book, he kills Ikemefuna, a boy who calls Okonkwo his father, because he is afraid of being seen as weak. Okonkwo has the chance….

Ok, this is a very brief-general rough draft of what I would write. And some pointers =D

~Make sure you use present tense when you talk about a book (because it always remain present when you read a book…)

~Try not to say “you” in an essay, it is informal

~Check your spelling, especially the names of people and the book

~Reread many times out loud, you may catch those silly mistakes that you’ve never noticed before (read my essay out loud because I didn’t, so you may catch some silly mistakes of mine XD)

Good luck!

In life, people often change themselves to fit in and be accepted by others. They do this by changing their image and changing who they are. People hide behind a mask because they fear to be rejected. Many examples of this kind of behavior is found in movies and books like "Mean Girls", "The Mask", and "Things Fall a Part". You see how they completely make-over their image to become popular.

Things Fall Apart is a great book. I just finished a course on Nigeria and Chinua Achebe is a great Nigerian author!

-The topic sentence is clear. -good

-The quote, "We all hide a piece...from the world" is just thrown in there. Try to better integrate it into the paragraph. Introduce who wrote it and where you found it.

-I think you could get rid of the mention of Mean Girls and The Mask unless you expand on what exactly the characters do to try to fit in.

-Take a careful look at capitalization and spelling