If your husband masturbates more than he has sex with you?

He may be going through some depression or personal issues. It's a lot easier to masturbate and just be lazy and watch some porn rather than go through the motions of being with you, im sure he feels a disconnect and its probably with himself.

If he solves issues with himself, im sure he will start to come around, and also you can spice things up with sexy outfits or with sexy acts, but be sexy, don't be romantic.

Masturbation can be a completely personal, self loathing, depressing thing to do to yourself in the right circumstances, when you are just looking to have a good feeling, like an easy orgasm and nothing more.

Not knowing the man or you and feeling I am missing out on some critical relationship dynamics to get to the root of why sex had dramatically diminished is a tough answer to determine. There could be a lot more going on that you may not have realized in the reflection of your relationship together that this could swing many different ways.

1. Physical - Could be what it is. simple chemical induced low libido. although at the age of 30's, this is unusual for him unless he there is more serious things happening. Prostrate cancer will diminish the sex drive. Other tell tale signs coudl be urination and/or bowel movements issues. A sudden drop in testerone levels can decrease sexual drive (i.e. testicular cancer). On less alarming notes, it could be pituitary or thyroidal malfunction which is usually regulated via medication

Psychological. You are suspecting self esteem issues. You stated he let himself go. Most men who become overweight lose penis length size. The larger the man, the smaller the penis becomes on a physical appearance point of view. Actually the "size" never changed. The difference is the bases of it has become more retracted into the pubis area of the skin folds where there is less extension left on the balance. This can truly affect a man's psychologcial health because size is such a topic in the forefront no matter who says it doesn't matter. For something that doesn't matter, it seems to still be a much ado subject

Emotional. Gaining weight can also affect positions and the effort of breath and physical can be tasking on endurance. This will then play on the ability of a man's thought process about his virility. Also, like one answerer stated, the possibility it may be easier for him to do the easy way out of quick satisfaction than the emotional involvement with another. Sex between spouses is supposed to be making love which does involve quite a bit of intimate emotions of the spirit connection for the unity of marriage

One thins I did hone in on was the choice of a word sentence you provided. If this is truly the accurate response he gave, this one brief comment may be your actual answer and hopefully solution.

"He has told me... is used to me"

This to me speaks volumes if this truly was said by him exactly as your wrote it. Sex has become too familiar and boring. Also, if the 2-3 per week seemed more scheduled than spontaneous, then it feels more of duty than pleasure. Trust me, I had one who felt it was my duty to capitulate to sex at least 3 times a day. Initially, it was exciting, but then it became a chore because the newness of having to submit to it as a schedule made me cringe in teh very end of it all.

Instead of pressuring him to when are you having sex. Perhaps, let him know that sex shoudl be spontaneous and you are there for when he feels he is ready. Let him know you will not pressure him into sex as long as you feel comfortable knowing that there is no threat to his health as to why his low libido has happened.

Ask him if the porn he watches has given him ideas to want to try new things int he bedroom or perhaps new toys. Sometimes the old ones lose their excitement too. If you don't watch porn with him, ask him if it would excite him to have you sit there and watch it with him. See if role playing, new exciting places, or hotel rental of a room for a one night stand with you in a new outfit might bring him out of the sex doldrums. Just don't forget to remind him again, this is a no pressure thing as long as it is not a health related threat and that you will be there for when he is ready.

Good luck!

Don't blame the age! I am 37 and would love to have sex every day with my wife, multiple times a day would be great too!

BUT my problem is my wife's low sex drive! It has been that way all our 11 years of marriage. SO I do masturbate and probably more often than I have sex! BUT I have NEVER NEVER NEVER turned my wife down when she is in the mood!

SO I don't know what to tell you???? I don't understand not wanting to have sex with your spouse????

let himself go?..........then he needs to regain what he feels he has lost. As far as the porn/mastbtn that merly a choice made by him. And is not fair to you. Why does he do it?.........It may be better for him in some way, because he does not have to please you, or he may have an addiction to porn. Or you may have become to regular and available to him. Try something different, do him in the car, get a lil crazy with it, dress up, trashy/sexy as hell, and act the part, be better then what he is lookin at, he will come back around with ya. A couple suggestions from an outside male who has a sex drive like spring rooster, What gets me is open toed highheels, with sexy lil pedicured toes, tan body, with a thong tan line, short skirt, ect ect.........Put those three things together with an attitude, and a strange place, and he will freak out. Good luck.

And by the way, you can be beautiful, and sexy as all get out, but if you are the same thing, the same way, in the same place every time, You can be outdone by something less then you, in a strangee place, with a strang way about it. Sad to say, not trying to be a pig, just trying to be honest and give you insight from a average American male hubby. Good luck!

Wow !

That's really weird

There has to be more to the story than that . Your leaving something out .

No man is his right mind would wack off all the time when he could have sex with his wife unless there was a really good reason or he had brain damage .

If I was him I would get a Viagra Drip working and screw

You until it fell off !!

You would be limping to the mail box !!

Same like my ex. He used to refuse me and I used to catch him watching porn, wanking instead when he thought I went to bed. It used to turn me off him and on the rare occasion he wanted it, I refused and he got upset (try it). also address it. tell him it upsets you, makes you feel unwanted, but don't get angy with him. in hignsight i think its almost like they cant help it, their brain works different to ours. i was a bit concerned that his habit took over, i think it can be quite addictive, because its so uncomplicated for them. i think girls are more likely want to make love & men want to f**k. i think for my ex it was often too hard work to do the foreplay etc. i think it is important to compromise. ask him if what i just suggested might be the case and agree to compromise. men & women like it at different times of the day, so you should talk abour that. as for cheating, i dont think cos they like porn/w*nk it means they cheat. i used to think that for a while, but for them its much easier to differentiate between someones genitlas and personality and porn is just an object whereas your the one he loves.it is a minor issue, that can cause major relationship & self esteem problems. hope you can sort it out.

Your hubby says he has a low libido and turns down sex from oyu but turns around and masterbates..LOL. He is really, really strange, I am 38 work 40 hours a week and help take care of 2 kids and help my wife with a small busines on the side. and we try to make time to make love 2-3 times a week. I think he might be addicted to porn and after sex with him self he really does not want nothing after that..Watch a porno with him, as he watches after 15-20 minutes start touching him and kissing him and see what happenes..you might get his motor running..

he's selfish he only needs you for the company, when a man masturbates it makes him selfish to the point where he dont need you to fulfill his need, masturbation makes you focus only on instant gratification. its going to be hard for him to break its just like cheating on you with himself and thats an awful thing!

I don't think there is anything wrong with you. Like some said - he's lazy!! is he overly worked - and its just easier to do this then to make you happy? thats what it sounds like to me. i'd unsubscribe to the stupid channel , thats for sure. and, I would bring it up to him...

go like this - you never want to be with me- its either you don't like being with me , you are gay, or you have a medical condition. which is it? Trust me - after you say the "gay" word - he will stop to think the next time he does it "alone".

Maybe he feels it is just easier to take care of it himself. To have sex and do it right takes a tremendous amount of effort on the guys part.

Doing it himself means no long talks, cuddling, making sure she's in the mood, getting her off,...etc.

Just so we are clear, I prefer my fiance over my hand.