How does a 40+ yr old stop being so nice and stop caring about it?

I'm a nice girl. 24. I found myself asking the same question recently. The women I work for as a teacher's assistant always vents when I'm around. Outside you can hear her laughing talking to her co-workers, then she comes in the class and gets all moody and complains about everyone/everything. Then one day I thought, no, this is like abuse. I'm not going to be the one who she vents to a releases her negative energy upon. So I made the decision to pull back. I know she has support outside of me, so I no longer felt like it was my place to have to hear her out. Not suddenly, but gradually I just started asking her less questions, and not paying attention to her venting like I would of before. And you know what? I'm a much happier person at work today than I was ever before when I was accepting her venting. And really, it was kind of different for me at first to withdraw, but it definitely got easier. YOU know your a caring person, as do others, but that does'nt mean folks should take advantage of that! Be happy and jus be who you are, but don't let yourself be a doormat for stompin on.

Best wishes.

Wow, I know exactly what you mean because I have the same problem. You are a nice person, and there is nothing wrong with that. In the end, when you walk away from a bad situation where things didnt go well, if you did the best you could, and treated people nicely, then you will at least have a clean conscience.

Theres good and bad with everything. Being a "bad guy" cant be all perks, so there must be a downside to it. Like they die sooner, or of some vicious illness, and by then no one is around to care. Its not OK for others to say mean things, or be in bad moods, but thats what happens. When I am like that, I try to stay away from otehrs because I dont want to take it out on them, but sometimes thats not always possible.

As for advice, think about these things: Have you been successful in your life otherwise? Are you generally happy with what you have accomplished? Then I would just accept that you are who you are, like everyone else is who they are, and thats just the way it is. But at least there is another person out here like you, and there are probably others. One thing Ive learned from reading/posting on Yahoo Answers, is how many other peolpe out there seem to be like me, in different ways.

:)

I have felt the same at one time. I am only 35 and have felt exactly the way you feel today. I look at it like this:

At the point when I feel I have had enough, I just say to myself, "Lord, you put me in this persons life for a reason. Give me the knowledge to help them so that they may prosper." Believe it or not, it makes you feel better about yourself.

When it comes to someone for you to talk to, find some true friends. Since I feel your pain, you can hit me up if you like. Sometimes the peace makers need a peace of mind and a peaceful ear to hang on. Us peace makers have to stick together ya know. God's got plans for you...........Hold On, Your bleesing is in the making. ;^)

maybe b/c they aren't used to YOU venting!!!!! They see you as the perpetual nice person ---

you can't stop being nice and caring!! I'm the same way..... it's just who you are!!

if they treat you horrid when you vent -- just look at them and bug your eyes out and say "WHAT??! I can't vent?!?!! come on! I need to or I'll bust!!"

good luck

Life it too short. Live for you and do what makes you happy.