Long story short. I'm 40, girlfriend 20, daughter 18. Kid making threats and we know longer speak. What now?

your life, your business not hers. If she was a minor child and needed you to care for her still different but you are both adults even though she may be a young adult, she has no right to be threatening anyone. Enjoy your life and be happy with who you are with.

Your answer is staring you back right in you face: It's the age factor. Whether it's right or wrong for your daughter to feel that way, it's hard enough being a teenager but when your Dad lives thousands of miles away from you & his new girlfriend's a couple years older than you, she's just having a tough time of it that's all.

Maybe if your daughter met the girlfriend & saw what a good person that she is, they could possibly become friends. Just give your daughter time.

She lives thousands of miles away...That means YOU live thousands of miles away from her. She doesn't live a thousand miles away from you. She ultimately would like to have a relationship with her father. And she probably wants a healthy relationship with her father. In her mind, you find girls that are close to her age attractive...How would you feel if you had a mother who dated a 42 year old? You may say that you could care less, but the fact is,,,its an awkward situation! Your daughter isn't comfortable with you now. She may have already had resentment that you live so far from her. You may say the miles between you and her were put there by her mother, but thats between you and your ex, not you and your daughter. So no matter the distance,,, your 18 year old daughter could use the guidance of her father. She may be considered an "adult" but say 18,,,do you hear the "teen" at the end of that word? Thing is she needs a father figure in her life. And you have ruined that by dating a young woman that is freakishly close in age with your daughter...You may not be thinking about it, but that could be putting thoughts into your daughter's head that you could very well be attracted to your own daughter..Thats creepy....What would you think about your daughter dating a 40 year old man???

First of all your ex is right. Your daughter has every right to be upset. Your her 40 year old Dad and your dating someone old enough to be her friend. Doesnt it bother you that when your daughter was born your current girlfriend was still in diapers? If I was your daughter I would be mad at you too, and I would probably do everything in my power to lash all my anger and aggression out on this 20 year old home wrecker trying to take my spot. Because of the age your girlfriend shes gone from a prospected future step mother to a chick who is trying to take her spot. I'm afraid theirs no way you can come out of this looking like the good guy unless you break up with this 20 year old and date someone more your own age. even 30 would be better! If you continue to not speak with your daughter your going to regret it. Dont choose this piece of a** over your own flesh and blood. trust me it would be the biggest mistake of your life!

Yeah it is a little strange, but you know, you and your gf are in a consensual relationship and that is all that matters. And, if your daughter did date a 40 year old guy, well she too would be in a consensual relationship. Give her time to get over the age gap and maybe you could talk to her about the honorable reasons you and your gf are together- like you both like the same music/food/politics...etc....

Because stereotypically the older guy is in it for sex and the young woman is in it for the money and that is shallow and embarrassing- but obviously many many people do not fit stereotypes and it might help to explain this to your family. I think your gf's family may need the same story to help soothe their insecurities too.

Good luck.

I have a father who is 39 with a 20 year old girlfriend and im 19. I do believe that she has every right. Im pissed that my father is dating someone who is essentially my age. Although me and my father do live near eachother it still bothers me and i refuse to accept his girlfriend and possible step mother. I guess thats the thing that bothers me the most, having a stepmom who the same age as me. I kinda feel that my dad is some kind of prevert, since he's looking at girls that are his daughters age. It has me wondering, if i were to bring friends over would he be checking them out.....thats gross and i agree with your daughter.

Your daughter loves you and her thinking u dating a girl at about her age is...you know... odd for her. It's either your 18 year old daughter or your 20 year old gf.

I would just ignore the threatening emails. If it really starts to anger you I guess you could take it to the police. Threats are against the law. You are an adult and have every right to date whomever you wish to. Age shouldn't matter, as long as people love each other truly, right? :) I understand she is your daughter but sometimes you just have to either lay down the line or just tell her to knock it off or you're bringing it to the police.

There's more to life than your support of money, she is probably ashamed, embarassed and disgusted. Your girlfriend is young enough to be your daughter. Would you want your daughter dating a man twice her age??? You should care.

Everyone is right so far. She can be your daughter you know! THat's how guys like you end up dead [on accident of course]. If she doesn't like this woman some girls may go as far as to kill her! It was in Legaly Blonde, you know? The woman was the same age as the daughter and the daughter went nuts!

Why should she care? Are you kidding? Her dad is boffing someone who could be her sister. Naturally she is repelled and appalled. That being said, she'll get over it. She has a right to her opinion.