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English Assigment Whatchya Think?

A thick suffocating film of gray, washes back and forth like the ocean tides,

A blinding light emerges through, like a bullet, ripping through a chest,

Golden blades shoot through the damp ground, towering over the sprouting green, stretching towards the sky, always failing, never defeated.

Twisted trunk, bending, rocking, never falling,

Stretched out branches, shaking, thrashing, never snapping,

Vibrant leaves, wrestling, cheering, never crying,

Mingled grass, all shades of green and gold, swirling in the wind, never dying.

Dripping, dropping, falling, splashing, lost words floating in the rain,

Cracking, clapping, crashing, thudding, drumming, angry voices shouting in the thunder,

Ligthning tears the sky in half, just the beginning to the end.

1 Answer

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    "A blinding light emerges through, like a bullet, ripping through a chest,"

    This line might be a little graphic for an english assignment, and it doesn't convey the point very well. It's not exactly literary or poetic either. It sounds like you just wanted to get random violence in their somehow. Also, the use of the word "through" two times in the same line is a bit repetitive and it really ruins the rhythm of the first stanza. Try taking out the first "through," after "emerges."

    "Golden blades shoot through the damp ground, towering over the sprouting green, stretching towards the sky, always failing, never defeated."

    I didn't get these lines. What are you describing? I understand the theme and topic of the poem, but I can't for the life of me figure out what this description is supposed to depict nor what it has to do with a storm.

    Other than those two issues, it's a solid free-form poem. There are a few smoothness issues, but for the most part it all runs together and there aren't any grammatical flaws.

    Add-on: How come you randomly decided to have the third and fourth lines of the second stanza rhyme? It is usually recommended that you stick to a single form throughout the poem. Changing the writing style can create dissonance and is usually discouraged.

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