modern or pathetic?

A ring and cute proposal story are nice, but the marriage is the important thing. If you're marrying the right guy, revel in your good fortune to be able to do so. Many people never find the right person.

When people ask how he proposed, tell them it's the 21st century and that you proposed. If they ask where's your ring, tell them you didn't buy yourself a ring when you proposed. :-)

It doesn't seem like you're the type of girl that would get all giggley over a piece of jewellery and a barf-worthy-violins-and-doves proposal story. It sounds to me like you have a solid relationship where communication and equality are highly valued.

When people get all gushy over rings and proposal stories, it's because that's what society has brainwashed them into thinking they're supposed to be excited about. Rings can symbolise committment, but why should the man have to be the one to present the woman with the ring? Why can't the woman propose?

So when people ask you about "the proposal" tell them the truth. Tell them that it's like you both knew right from the beginning, and that it just naturally happened. Personally, I think that's more romantic than a cheesey one-knee deal. And if you would like a ring, there is no reason you *can't* get one....both of you can get one as a symbol of your committment, either now or for the wedding (and you can still get a diamond if that's what you want.)

Me and my fiance kind of did it that way. We've been together for years. We talked about it for a while and it wasn't until his mother suggested a date that has a lot of importance for them both, that we decided to start planning a wedding. We talked about a ring and we went together to pick it out a week later b/c he is so bad at that kind of stuff. I left the actual proposal up to him. Even though we knew we were getting married it was fun for him to surprise me with the ring. I knew what I was getting and that we were going to get married, I just didn't know when I was going to get the ring. So at least I was surprised by that! We're not your typical couple anyway. We're doing everything backwards!

Since when does the fact that you did the asking mean that you two can't go to the jewelry store and get an engagement ring?

And since when does the whole world get to know the details of the proposal?

This is your business and if you are happy and marrying the man of your dreams, that is ALL that counts. You're only gyped if you decide to take that attitude.

Good luck with your marriage.

definitely.he seems a bit reluctant.if it has been a couple of months,and there is no ring,what is he waiting for.have the two of you discussed why things haven't gone any further than

talking about it?how old are the two of you?also,why have you talked about marriage since you first started dating?it usually takes at least three years before you even begin to

know a person.i think YOU just want to get married.you can

have the "fairytale wedding".it doesn't mean you will have the fairytale life.

Im going through a similar siuation i was thinking about asking him but i wasnt sure it would be the "right" thing to do...I really respect you for what you did. I dont think your missing out because instead of all the normal questions you get to tell YOUR story for people not the same old thing that other people are telling. Good luck and i hope things go amazing.

no way! i asked my fiance on the 29th feb (leap year) of this year and everyone told me it was a mistake and i had missed out but i have not once regretted it. yes it wasnt traditional but who cares? hold your head up high and tell ppl you proposed and dont worry about it. we havent even celebrated our 1st year together yet but we have booked the wedding on the 29th nov this year. when you know you know and who says who should propose anyways? my girlfriends were proposed to but many were left dissapointed when their bfs proposed in bed or during a walk...us girls always plan how we want things to happen in our heads then get dissapointed when they dont pan out this way! at least you took control! at the end of the day your wedding will be the fabbest ever and thats all you will remeber in years to come when you say 'i do' and swap rings...not the smaller details like how you came to be married but the marriage itself. good luck x

You made the decision to propose. Now you have to live with that choice.

And I always get thumbs down whenever I suggest that a lady wait until the gentleman proposes to her. Perhaps this is just one reason why the lady should wait?

Sorry you feel gypped. But when one makes a decision, one has to live with the consequences. The consequences here are that you have no engagement ring and no cute, romantic proposal story.

Perhaps you can discuss this with your fiance? Maybe he will go ahead and get you a ring?

to each their own! if you feel comfortable with the way you and your boyfriend/fiance planned an engagement/wedding, then let it be. if people ask you "how'd he do it" and "where's the ring" just tell them it was a mutual decision to get married and you'll have your ring when you tie the knot! my brother and his wife did the same thing! they got married and it wasn't until (around) their 4th anniv. that he gave her an engagement ring to go w/her wedding band. good luck!

If you didn't mean to do it that way, then next time you talk about it say "Well are we even officially engaged yet?" and act like you are just asking so that you should know if you should start telling people. That way, maybe he will realize he wants to formally propose to you.