i caught my son and daugther having sex?

Take them to a counselor (a psychologist or psychiatrist) who has some expertise in sexual abuse type issues. Unfortunately, our society has promoted the notion of "friends with benefits" - where two people are friends (but not dating each other) and they both want to have sex, so they have sex with each other with no strings attached. It has really devalued the sex act and disassociated it from love. Frankly, I would not be surprised if, to their way of thinking, they both wanted to have sex with someone, and neither were in a relationship, and so, why not? They don't understand the serious harm this does to them. They probably don't understand that if the birth control were to fail and she were to become pregnant, that the baby stands a good chance of birth defects like blood disorders (hemophelia, etc.), albinoism, and mental retardation.

This obviously is shocking to you and will be to your wife too. You need the help of someone who is objective and detached from the situation, plus someone who has experience dealing with difficult sexual behaviors. That's where a good councelor comes in. Go in as a family, but they may recommend separate sessions. Your children, initially, may be mortally ebarrased that you are telling their misdeads to a complete stranger (let's hope they have enough sense to know what they did was wrong), but once they get a chance to talk out their issues, maybe the counelor can help them to understand why they are doing what they are doing, and why the need to stop.

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You did the right thing by explaining it to your wife, and also by seeking family counselling. Be carefull though, you may end up having childrens services come knocking on your door asking all kinds of weird questions like have the children ever been sexually molested by either of you or any other family relatives. If that happens, the entire situation could get very messy, very quickly. If your family has any true religious morals and values, you should seek out your family counselling with your church. Sit down with your children, with a Bible in hand and read to them from it. Leviticus Chapter 18 verse 9 Do not have sexual intercourse with your sister or half sister, whether she is your father's daughter or your mothers's daughter, whether she was brought up in the same family or somewhere else. Read the entire chapter to them, and then have them read it to you. The entire chapter deals with forbidden sexual practices, and make sure that they understand what they are reading. Leviticus Chapter 20 verse 17 If a man has sexual intercourse with his sister, the daughter of either his father or his mother, it is a terrible disgrace. Both of them must be publicly cut off from the community. Since the man has had intercourse with his sister, he will suffer the concequences of his guilt. Good Luck, and my God bless all of you.

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Wow, you really need to sit them down and have an open and very frank talk with them, not just you doing the talking but all of ya'll. If you don't think you can tell your wife then you need to handle it as best you can, just realize....she will probably find out somehow someway and you don't want her to take it out on you. You would want her to tell you if she had been the one to find them.

This is almost more than a parent can take buddy, I am so sorry. I have friends who caught their kids doing it, but they were half brother and sister and hadn't been raised together but a year or two. Not that that is that much better.

I really advise you telling your wife, two sets of eyes watching out for the kids is better than one. E-mail me if you want to talk it out more.

Good luck

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