Critique for my poem???

Question

To whom it may concern
I'm not weak
To whom it may concern
I cry just like you
To whom it may concern
Don't push me around
To whom it may concern
Mcdonalds is disgusting 
To whom it may concern
I wanted to be a pastor
To whom it may concern
I'm a coffee adict
To whom it may concern
History interests me
To whom it may concern
i love country music
To whom it may concern
i hate what i've become
To whom it may concern
Sometimes i miss private school
To whom it may concern
I want a tattoo
To whom it may concern
My dad seems proud and disappointed in me
To whom it may concern
I love tripp pants
To whom it may concern
I'm piercing my nose
To whom it may concern
One day my hair will be black
To whom it may concern
Once i start no one will stop me
To whom it may concern
i love singing in the shower
To whom it may concern
This is who i am
To whom it may concern

mom.of.2 · Accepted Answer

I agree with alot of the commenters about the repitition "to whom it may concern", and actually it`s a stunning idea for a poem! You can turn this into one magnificent poem. Sometimes I write poems and it can take me up to 6 months before I can completley fix it or I cheat and add it to another poem. hehe to make it longer! I get bored and give up easy. Most of my poems are short poems. Also try to make it rhyme more.

Gene C · Answer

I absolutely loev what you're saying, just tossing who you are out there. It's great. But the repetition of to whom it may concern, kills it, the reader gets irritated with having to read the line. I felt like I just had to read every other line to enjoy it. So try removing some of them so something like this: 

To whom it may concern
I'm not weak
I cry just like you
To whom it may concern
Don't push me around
To whom it may concern
I wanted to be a pastor
I'm a coffee addict
History interests me
To whom it may concern
Mcdonalds is disgusting
i love country music
To whom it may concern
I hate what i've become....and so on...

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? · Answer

I do not fear approximately harsh critique. I've had lots of that during my time. You move forward should you feel I've written garbage. By the best way, spelling errors on your first line HH. Should be buddy Add: Unless you might have bought yet another means of spelling it anyplace you return from.(smiles)

Miss P · Answer

It's not good. It is too simple and lacks poetic quality. It's more of a list than a poem. You may want to make it more subtle or put in more imagery because it really is not at all interesting.

Fee_Slice · Answer

Yeah, this isn't completely horrible, but it isn't very good either.  You don't need to repeat that one line over and over and over again... it's liek the written equivalent of a skipping record.  But the ideas are good, so I think with a little editing you could have something here.

softballchik18 · Answer

I Really like your poem. I'm not even sure how to crituque it because it's really nice. If possible, you could maybe put it in the same tense, or put it in chronological order.   Good Luck

Anonymous · Answer

Ridiculously, needlessly repetitive. FIX IT

Cliqueless Kayla · Answer

You and I are a lot alike! That was totally cool! I wish I had thought of that...genius!!

Lace Anne · Answer

it kinda repeats a lot...but I like it all the same.

ERICA · Answer

I LIKED IT YOU ARE SAYING THIS IS ME AND ALL MY BA GAGE TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT !!!  YOU ARE DOING GOOD KEEP IT COMING .  
LUV ERICA:)

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Critique for my poem???

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