Yahoo Answers is shutting down on May 4th, 2021 (Eastern Time) and beginning April 20th, 2021 (Eastern Time) the Yahoo Answers website will be in read-only mode. There will be no changes to other Yahoo properties or services, or your Yahoo account. You can find more information about the Yahoo Answers shutdown and how to download your data on this help page.

aegispathos asked in Arts & HumanitiesPoetry · 1 decade ago

Keep the Candle Burning - any thoughts or ideas please?

KEEP THE CANDLE BURNING

Life is like a Candle; it burns brightly.

The experiences we have are like the wax dripping.

Sometimes our candle feels almost snuffed out,

But it is not until the candle burns right down that it truly expires.

We must learn how to rekindle the flame and protect it from some of life’s elements;

To keep it in a place that it will illuminate, give warmth and last as long as possible.

By doing so we can learn to burn more brightly

And fill our life with light where once there were shadows.

Wendy Brown

February 2008

Update:

First decision - paste the finished poem - it has been amended slighly - I have another for you as well. Blessings.

Update 2:

Graham, ever full of good advice - thank you - how are you?

4 Answers

Relevance
  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I would change the similie to a metaphor->Life is a candle. It is more effective and powerful that way.

    Also, instead of "the experiences we have" i would say "our experiences". Shorter and more to the point. Every word should count.

    Just a few comments, dont wan't to influence it too much.

    Source(s): I write.
  • 1 decade ago

    Keep adding wax and it can burn forever. Just don't burn it from both ends.

  • I can't thank you enough for sharing this poem with me. As you can see, it's been on my profile for some time :)

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I hope so,I said to the ho,LOL!

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.