should our parents be planning our honeymoon?

Well, they are probably looking at it as their big gift to you.

1. Either you can speak candidly with them & see if they wouldn't be willing to give you cash for some excursions.

2. You could tell them you would prefer to plan the excursions on a day-by-day basis. No plans made until you get to the Island.

3. You can be sure they know exactly which trips you want to do, but that you really need some days of nothing.

I think it is tradition for the groom's parents to pay for the honeymoon, but not plan it!! It does sound like they are going overboard. If you say anything about it, it may just upset them. But maybe you could suggest activities and plans to your parents, and since they have been asked to help then they could use those suggestions to his parents. If that doesn't work, then you should just go along with it and trust that they are planning an amazing honeymoon for you and your husband. Good luck!

Aaaaarrghhhh...I don't know how many times I've said on this site that people should pay for everything related to their own wedding...when parents get involved financially, they feel they have a say in how their money should be spent, and you can't be surprised by that and blame them! It's time to set them down and express how appreciative you are that they are paying for the honeymoon, but that since this will be your R&R time as a couple, you want to choose some of the activities yourself. They probably want to surprise you with this great itinerary of stuff, but you need to be clear with them that you need to choose some things, too.

Well they think they are doing something really nice and probably want it to be a surprise.Don't be too hard on them. Ask him to talk to his parents.

Say "mom,dad, we love that you are paying for our honeymoon. I'm sure you are excited and want it to be a surprise. However, we'd like to be included in the plans so we are not completely in the dark of our own honeymoon."

That is way too much. I think you should tell the parents how you feel about the whole thing. It's good and kind that they want to pay for it but can they let you guys plan what to do when you get there.

I doubt your in-laws mean any disrespect. You say they asked your parents but not you. Well, have you ASKED your future in-laws if you could help??

If that fails, how about telling YOUR parents what you want and let THEM offer the advice to HIS parents.

We gave our son and daughter-in-law their honeymoon to Disney World (all expenses paid - airfare, hotels, meals, park-hopper tix) as a surprise wedding gift. We didn't tell them we were doing it, we just did it and gave it to them a couple of weeks before the wedding. But we also knew they had very limited funds (they paid for the wedding) and we wanted to do something very special for them.

They were very happy and even if they were upset about anything they realized our intentions were good and they were gracious enough to accept our GIFT.

Technically, the bride and groom plan their own honeymoon. But, since they are paying for it (and the Caribbean isn't cheap), I'd let it go. It's a free trip, regardless.

This is one of those issues that's better off being let go. It's not worth starting a conflict over.

Let them plan it, all activities can be changed upon arrival. All your concerned about is location, which you say you are happy about. If they book all the activities thru the hotel, I'm sure they will understand that you prefer a couples massage over a sight seeing tour of the island.

You really should be planning your own honeymoon. I'm not sure how you're going to break it to them...if you are at all. It may be one of those things where you pick your battles - and choose to take your own honeymoon at another time (and at your own expense). Good luck and congrats!

Sweet! Are they coming along, too???

No? Well, darn.

Let's use that, though -- next time it comes up, say "wow, is that (parasailing, scuba, etc) something you guys want to do? We were really planning on spending some unscheduled time on our honeymoon." Just gently let them know that although you appreciate the fact they are paying for your trip, you would love the opportunity to chose your own activities.

Don't hold a grudge - communicate. They probably think they are doing you a favor.