Monogamy: why do you think infidelity and divorce are at such a high rate right now?

People value marriage in a different way than people did, say 40 years ago. 40-50 years ago, it was not at all "strange" to marry someone that you barely knew, but understood to be a good person in general. Husbands had a pretty clear role as the "bread winners" and women had a pretty clear role to become mothers.

Now gender roles are very mixed -- to both the benefit and detriment of marriages, depending on the situation and couple.

Nowadays, it is almost abusrd to think of marrying someone you have nothing in common with -- we have so much access to so many kinds of people within and outside our local communities that we are now more free than ever to find someone that truly FITS who we are. The "rush" to get married is delayed until the late 20's or 30's and you have time to "shop around" for a good mate.

Therein lies the problem -- most people don't know who they THEMSELVES are for much of their lives, so they go into relationships blindly and find out later on that there are other people out there that are better matches. Because divorce holds little or no social stigma, divorcing the old and getting a new seems like a good alternative to being unhappily married to someone you don't truly love.

Before, you would put up with your husband being a lifelong raging alcoholic, because you vowed to stay with them -- plus, you might do it for the children. Now, few would blame you for not being able to fix a broken spouse -- and subsequently moving on. This applies to lots of defects, on both sides of a marriage. People are much more aware of what it takes to live with problems, and if they are un-fixable, the view is that your spouse has failed YOU by not fixing, and you are justified in expecting more. And visa versa.

It also has to do with extended adolescence. With the way our society works, it is expect that "children" take much longer to grow up than they once did. You will see 20-25 year olds acting like they are still 15, emotionally and mentally. Because they have been raised in a way that tells them it's ok to be a child until they "feel like growing up." Immature people, no matter what age, make BAD choices. They make bad choices that usually includes relationships.

It is because society doesn't see it as such a big deal anymore. Back when sex was just after marriage it would have been a big thing to have sex before marriage. If a girl did, she would have ruined her life as no guy would marry her. Now, people don't consider sex to be just for marriage. There are so many questions that I see regarding after how many dates should they have sex. Also, it is a lot easier to get a divorce now. It used to be so hard many years ago. Society now accepts sex to be something that isn't related to marriage. In fact, if people find out you have waited until after you were married to have sex they gasp as if you have done something really wrong or rare. In a few countries it is actually illegal to have sex before marriage. The consequences are so great that people wouldn't risk it. You will still find a minority of people that feel the way you do. I have to say I agree with you. I am Catholic so it was the way I was brought up.

Monogamy is not a natural state for humans. Because we only provide 1 offspring a year it is more natural for the male to want to increase his odds of having offspring and thus impregnating many mates.

For socioeconomic reasons monogamy became the norm in western and now modern society to help reduce the economic burden on social groups when many males continue this practice after it is no longer necessary, due to high birth rates, etc.

All things tend toward dissolution, so sustaining a union is not as easy as dissolving it, as you stated. Evil and immoral are relative to you upbringing, culture and perspective.

Monogamy takes more energy to keep stable than does spreading your seed with anyone who comes along.

I practice monogamy for the social and cultural reasons of where I was raised, but could see reasons for it's end under certain circumstances.

To your point it is difficult for someone to be lied to, cheated, or left with young they cannot easily care for. When vows are broken and trust eroded people's feelings get hurt. These are considered evil, immoral and ignorant people for breaking the cultural norms set up in our societies. Also be aware that it is not easy to resist biological urges or maintain cultural or emotional relationships as you may think.

When another person of the opposite sex approaches you and does some serious flirting, knowing your married, the chase begins. It's hard to put into words, but there is an excitement of having sex with a person that's married. Don't get me wrong, I don't agree with it, but it's in just about every work place today. Example: Here is a guy that's in his early 40's and you have a hot looking lady who knows your married approach you and make flirty sexual advances towards you. Well, nature kicks in and this 40 year old man needs the reassurance that "he still has it". So he does everything he can to make an affair happen. It's also called a mid life crises and trust me the mid life crises is very real. Been there / done that and the spouse always finds out because you are doing things that are out of your normal routine that she has seen develop over the course of your marriage. When you go out of your normal routine, it sends up all kinds of red flags that you're up to something. They always eventually find out because in situations like this us dumb guys only think with our wanker. All of the blood has rushed out of our brain and guess where it goes.

I think the answer is simple: Americans are downright irresponsible. Most parents don't teach their kids to be patient, loving, and NOT self-centered. We also live in a "I want it now" society, where happiness is measured in seconds, rather than years. Don't like your wife? Get a new one!

Combine all that with an increasing sense of moral relativism, and you've got a pretty nasty situation on your hands. In our case, it manifests as a divorce rate of 50%.

Because we are not allowed to stone women anymore. Seriously, I don't know. People are always looking for the easy way out now a days. We lack meaning to our lives and we are putting a higher value on fun, sensation, and happiness but at the same time throwing morality, loyalty, and honor out the door. At all times I want to try to do the right things, it's not easy brother but I understand that others may not feel the same and I cant get mad at them for having different opinions. I just got to know myself and not judge them or scorn them and hopefully things work out for me.

Because not everyone is as lucky to have a wife like mine. People are just loosing there morals and have no Patience. The more divorces they are the more OK it seems to get one and the more OK it seems to get one the more people do its a deadly cycle. I like marriage it gives me my son and my wife stability its not always easy but in this get it fast and right now quick fix society people just cut and run instead of working things out and nobody wants to compromise anymore.

Because you legalized it. If it's illegal then it won't happen. From where I come from, Catholicism has a vital role in society (although the church and state are separate), it still has its influence on enacting laws. Since the RCC does not tolerate infidelity and other things it considers immoral, my government decides to do the same.

Specifically in the case of guys - it's because they get bored and think there's something better out there, when, in reality, they find themselves feeling terrible guilty after cheating and regret it for a long time (if not forever). And I'm not saying this as a jab at guys, I'm saying it from honest words I've heard my guy friends speak, and from the personal experience I've had.

From a girl's perspective, I honestly don't know - I've never considered cheating.

the internet.. simple.. now we can meet 55,900 new people a day.. so its easier to click with somone new and move on. So simple to search through thousands in an hour which would take months in bars or going out. So therefor people move on and replace their problem marriages with ease!!