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Should we still get back together, if I feel this way now?
My BF and I had a huge fight on the day we were being evicted. While he was angry he said he was"done"with me,and I had to get out of the apartment,so I went to my mother's. Now my mother will kick me out if I see him again,and the friends he's staying with don't like me. After 3 days of not talking to me he called and said he's sorry,he never actually planned on breaking up,and if I hadn't called mom he would have come back to help me just before I would have had to leave. But I told him it's too late. I love him very much and I want to make it work with him but I will not move in with him again until I have enough money to move out too,in case that happens again!
I'm pretty confident I did the right thing there for my own security,but now I have enough to move out and he doesn't yet...or so I thought.
I'm pretty confident I did the right thing there for my own security,but now I have enough to move out and he doesn't yet...or so I thought. When I told him I didn't want to have sex while we wait (because there's no comfortable way to do it and it will only make it harder for me not to see him) he said he felt like I was witholding sex either as punishment for dumping me or as insurance to get into another apartment with him(he knows I can't afford one on my own) and that was making him not want to save as much as he could, because he felt like he was being "played"!
After a few weeks I gave in and said if he gets a hotel room or something we can spend some time together,it's not like I don't want it...but now while we're planning to do all this without getting caught,something in me keeps saying "NO! Why should I go through all this trouble and make it harder on myself just to make him happy; look at what he's put you through with this breakup already! If he wants it he's just going to have to wait and trust you." I guess I'm still angry, even though it was also *my* behaviour that drove him to dump me in the first place...Does this mean I don't really love him?
I remember I was devastated; I felt like I'd been completely uprooted from happiness and I'd never be happy again when he broke up with me. I still honestly feel like I can't be happy without him,and I do *not* want to be alone again and after three months I still cry alot, but then sometimes I'm just so sick of him dragging me along and I don't trust my own judgement enough to say for sure that he doesn't just want someone to have sex with. I just told him all of this,because our relationship for 3 years was based on blunt honesty,and it made him cry and hang up on me! I feel horrible. But should I? I love him so much but are my stupid feelings during this supposedly temporary situation right or wrong? What should I do?
BTW thanks for reading all this, it's complicated but I really need some good advice from people who know from experience, which I don't have! = )
1 Answer
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
well to tell you the truth, no you shouldn't do it, if you want to wait then do so, if he loves you and cares the way he say he does then he will wait for you until you are comfortable. Mothers do know best. also, if she thinks that you shouldn't go back then you shouldn't but its your life do what you feel is best, better yet get a sheet of paper and write down all his goods and his bads then weigh them out if the good overpowers the bad then you should make it work but if not you should just move on
