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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Society & CultureCultures & GroupsSenior Citizens · 1 decade ago

Did you know the stock market was in the news to-day?

"Helium was up"

"Feathers were down"

"Beef steered into a bull market"

"Paper was stationary"

"Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading"

"Pencils lost a few points"

"Hiking equipment was trailing"

"Elevators rose"

"Escalators continued their slow decline"

"Weights were up in heavy trading"

"Light switches were off"

"Mining equipment hit rock bottom"

"Shipping lines stayed at an even keel"

"The market for raisins dried up"

"Coca Cola fizzled"

"Caterpillar stock inched up a bit"

"Balloon prices were inflated"

"Scott Tissue touched a new bottom"

"Knives were up sharply"

"Sun stocks peaked at midday"

...and the best one...

"Diapers remain unchanged"

16 Answers

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  • CJ
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Suzie - this one is great - thanks for a big laugh! Have a star!

    Hugs CJ

  • ?
    Lv 4
    5 years ago

    Well, since any stimulus funds that aided in the upswing were from the previous stimulus package and not the one signed last month, how can President Obama get credit for it? Markets rose on better than expected earnings reports from January and February; last months stimulus has had no effect whatsoever yet. Also, I doubt that Mr Cavuto's show is entirely ready at this very moment (just after 11am Eastern), so what's wrong with waiting to see what the market does during the day first? Won't that make the report more up-to-date? Just two weeks ago, President Obama said the economy was in grave peril (in wanting to get the stimulus/Democrat project spending bill) and yesterday he says it's not so bad. Wasn't Senator McCain slammed for making the same contradictory statements during the campaign? FOXNews and the RNC don't need to hurt President Obama; he's starting to do that himself, and the latest Rassmussen Poll on his approval is not a good omen for him.

  • ?
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Seems like the usual ups and downs. Very good Suzie!! Chuckles and a big star for you! Now I must share that!

  • DeeJay
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Keep an eye open for me and let me know when to trade and something is bound to create a change in diapers.

    I always count on a laugh from you.

    DeeJay.

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • 1 decade ago

    Good one girl--Keep thinking ! Hugs

  • 1 decade ago

    But sheets folded .

  • 1 decade ago

    Very cute.

    You NEVER let me down. I told you I read them all.

  • 1 decade ago

    WOW! I love that...cute

  • 1 decade ago

    makes more sense than my broker does !

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    very good collection.

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