Some hockey "what happened" questions?

These are the hardest questions EVER!!!

1) Boy O Boy, does that sound familiar. Hey, are you still following me again, carrying around my avatar picture at the mall to see if you can find me, lmoa. It is not really a ripped jersey, but rather Martin St. Louis (they don’t make sweaters in his size, and that is also the reason for the small numbers). He has a towel wrapped around him because some buddies slipped some acid in his Gatorade, and he decided to join a Pickup game on Tampa Bay.

2) At first, I am relived when I realize the honeys on the couch are actually blow-up dolls, but then immediately become even MORE concerned. Then I become double concerned when I realize that I am wearing nothing but a Datsyuk jersey. My mind starts racing. I am thinking, “How could I have slept with that Quazymoto.” “What in the hell could we have even talked about, for me to end up here?” “Then I think…what am I doing in Sweden with a Russian?” Then I get up and the next room, is a locker room. Then I keep walking and there are showers…now running, I open two double doors and realize I am in the Joe. I run back to the locker room lobby, and see the janitor cleaning up my clothes. I yell, “Hey, those are mine!!! Don’t touch those!!!” Then he says, “That’s not what you said last night.” …………little puke in my mouth now, thanks,

3) Apparently, I was drunk again…big shocker. I saw Avery walking down the street is his gay little Vogue fashion clothes with some tramp pinned to his arm. Well, upon passed them on the sidewalk, the little witch sneezes on me. So, I turn around and kick her in the back. Since her diet is tic-tacs and water, I break her in half. Then Avery decks me in the face. Fortunately for me, there were a handful of hockey players across the road, waiting to waffle imprint Avery’s abnormally round, Charlie Brown-like head.

4) I guess I originally was camping with Joe, Lubers, Zam, Awesome Bill, Shock, Snoop, Erica, and the rest of the Pennsylvania crew…and then somebody had the great idea to start playing a drinking card game…I don’t remember the rules, because when the beer ran out we were drinking 151. So, I went to go wiz in the woods, and ended up riding a Cheetah like in Harold and Kumar go to White Castle (that had to be the dumbest scene in a movie), and ended waking up the next morning with Jordan poking my knocker. I guess he was curious.

Wow, these are pretty hard questions! (my answers aren't too great but that's all I could come up with)

1) I guess that fight got a little too carried away.

2) I got kind of crazy the other night when the Wings won the cup and pleaded Holstrom to convince Lidstrom that he should have a sleep over at his house and for some crazy reason invite me

3) Well, I guess I was drunk (that's why I don't remember what happened! lol) and I accidently spilled my soda on top of Hollweg the night of the game and he got revenge (along with Orr and Dawes)!

4) I was camping with some friends and then before I knew it these hockey players come along (when my two friends were both sleeping) and it's dark out and I heard some noise. I was knocked out not too long after. When I woke up I heard one of them say something about how hungry they were and how disappointed there wasn't much meat on me. It turns out that I was tied up and was supposed to be dessert. They must have been drunk to think I was similar to the rabbit they were roasting - I suppose they thought I was some kind of puckbunny - literally! lol

1) Is it just me, or does Don Cherry’s appearance remind you of Earnest Hemingway? He does Reminder of Hemingway 2) Is it just me, or does Ovechkin look like he has a smelly mouth? I bet if you put your nose in there and took a whiff, you would vomit. Can't prove that 3) Is it just me, or on that Versus commercial when they talk about 6 dollar champagne tasting good; do you think that guy that buys 6 dollar champagne for the Stanley Cup winner, needs to be fired? No need to fire someone that's just saving Money want him to Buy $200.00 in more Expense Tasting Champagne Wake Up now 4) It is just me, or does the Hockey Hall of Fame’s old CNE location look MUCH larger than the Bank of Montreal Building where it is currently located? I agree with you and that, The Bank is bigger then The Hall of Fame 5) Is it just me, or do you think if the Penguins win the Stanley Cup, Wheaties will put Sidney Crosby on the cereal box? What will they do if Detroit wins….put the entire team on the box? The Pens will win the Cup That and you're also looking at Crosby and Malkin as your New NHL's Dynamic DUO, Pittsburgh has returned to it Glory Again.

Congratulations...these are some great questions!! I'm jealous I didn't think of them...

1. Well...seeing as I'm a lover and not a fighter. So I'm guessing "said gentleman" is a one night stand gone verrryy. But I'd still take that over the happening is Pittsburgh this week...the "Furries" have invaded. No wonder this city sucks for singles.. http://www.anthrocon.org/about-furry

2. Osgood + Jager bombs = Stanley Cup Sex Tape

3. I told Sean Avery my shoes were nicer then his..he called me a beeyotch..so I kicked his @$$...but wasn't watching were I was goin and walked into a light-pole. Colton, Ryan, and Nigel are laughing because I was the REAL reason Avery's spleen ruptured..

4. I'm attending there boy scout training. How I got here..well Jordan is scared of the woods...and my mothering instinct took over..I had to convince Jordy to leave his blankie at home...

1. Don't ever drink with Lightning fans, they is some crazy people! Cool, but crazy!

2. No idea, but it's awesome! It's good to be a Wings fan.

3. Those f*ckers set me up with Sean Avery. I'll get 'em back!

4. Being in Pennsylvania is bad enough, but I apparently hit the bottle with a rabbit, and they are roasting my drinking buddy, so I'm probably next. Oh well.

1.) Me and Lecavalier got arrested for alligator wrestling after a late night of drinking. The Gator ripped my shirt and Vinni's Pants that is why he is in a towel.

2.)After the "Cup comes home party" Ericsson, Holmstom, Kronwall, Zetterburg, Mittias and Samuelsson went to breakfast and left me to pay the call girls.

3.)They jumped the Devils fan.....classy real classy!!!

4.) I went into the "Beyond Section" at Bad Breath and beyond...I mean Bed Bath and Beyond cause I hear this amazing banjo and jaw harp country twang coming from behind the futons.

1. I probably got into a fight at a bar in Sarasota (i.e. Captain Curts) with some Buffalo relocator. I was probably trying to have a civil conversation about Buffalo hockey when the guy in the Tampa garb came waltzing by. The other guy from Buffalo (probably from North Tonawanda) said something stupid, and I had to break up the fight. Being that the guy was from NT, as I'm trying to pin him down I realize its one of my former retarded students from NT high school and decide to let the guy from Tampa have at him cause the kid probably deserves a swift kick in the ***. Aaaaand because he's from NT he probably already has mommy on speed dial to post bail so me and Tampa guy are stuck in the bin. As soon as we're released, we go to IHOP for breakfast.

2. I'm the blond on the recliner. I went to Sweden with some of my other hair dye obsessed friends, we had a spa night with a criminal mastermind friend who stole the cup, and who happens to be a wings fan.

3. This time I was probably defending a Buffalo fan outside the UNIS building and some Cambodian diplomat probably hit me for no reason. The aforementioned people actually brought me home to take care of me in a non rapist kind of way, but theyre laughing at how jacked up I look.

4. Clearly, I've moved back to the city in PA where I used to live and we're not actually in the woods, that's just the busiest section of Meadville. Pain in my side?Staals gonna get some pain in the nards.Then I order a taco sub from Valerios and go to Presquaisle before I make the 40 minute drive home

1)I think I know the reason I don't drink but I think maybe I said Mathieu Darche's name really is Mathieu Douche and Shane O'Brien started throwing haymakers with me at the bar..Best reason I got.

2)Now I'm pissed!!How did I miss that party??!!Time to go to AA.Thats the exact dream I had last night...Except the thumb part.

3)They realized I was wearing the most ridiculous shirt in the world.A Rangers sweater:p

4)Suuuuuuuuwwwweeeeee run little piggie.Thats the last time I'm wearing tighty whities.

Keep this kind of meal between 400 and 1000 calories. Serve yourself a small portion, so if you like returning to college for seconds, you'll just finish up eating a normal-size portion.

1. we had a fight over who was going to win the hockey game, the Lightning vs the blackhawks, then the old dude spilled his beer on me and i went crazy, he did as well, i think that beer counted for the fifth one that night.

2. i must have lost a bet to be surrounnded by Redwings stuff, and i DO NOT suck my thumb, thank you very much

3. i pissed Avery off, can't exactly remember how, but he took me out

4. i was camping, it was our usual Daddy/ daughter trip and all of us girls were in desperate need for civilization so we wandered until we found a cabin. we knocked on the door, and as it flew open, it hit me, and when i woke up, they were roasting one of my friends, who they thought was a puck bunny