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commodore
commodore asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 decade ago

How do I find out? - Australian replies preferred!?

Have started using dating sites and find that lots of males put down"no answer"for occupation and income. I realise that they may be trying to keep away gold diggers.I'm no gold digger, I'm self supporting.And would like to meet a guy who is also.

Our Social Security, Centrelink, is savage about investigating people who get together with people receiving welfare. I have nothing to hide, but I do not want to be involved with someone on whose behalf I have to declare my income and situation.

How do I find out discreetly and tactfully, from prospective dates if they are able to maintain themselves, or are on welfare?

Update:

Thanks for comments to date

I am truly not concerned how much money a guy has, if he can keep himself.

I do not want to get involved with anyone who may bring down a Centrelink inspection on me for no good reason. A friend, working, was seeing a guy occasionally, who lost his job. A few weeks later someone told Centrelink they were living together and some neanderthal gave my friend a very hard time on the phone - how can you prove you're not de facto over the phone? And he lost two weeks' dole because she refused to answer very intrusive questions.

So I am certain that I do not want to be involved at any level but established friendship(prior to the event)with someone on welfare.

Update 2:

BTW I asked for Australian replies prefereed because everyone's social security system is different.

And ours will learn to be different now, I hope, under a human government.

9 Answers

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  • One Armed Scissor
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Ask them what they do for a living. If they are genuinely interested in getting to know you, then telling you won't be a problem and if they are untruthful, you'll find out soon enough anyway.

    I met my husband through online dating. I never went on a date with someone until I had built up a bit of a rapport with them via email and then on the phone. You get a pretty good idea of what they are like from that and whether or not it's worth giving it a shot. I revealed more as I got to know them but never felt comfortable with the idea of putting that sort of personal information out there in public view.

    I realise that you are just trying to weed out the patch, but there's really no way other than asking them and judging from that. And for yourself, don't put your financial status on there either. I know smart women who have fallen prey to unscrupulous con men. A lonely heart is an easy target, so protect yourself.

    Good luck though, there are still plenty of knights in shining armour out there!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    If a guy has looks AND money, he is going to beating the girls off with a stick, not fapping about on a dating site.

    If you want to find out what a guy does for a living, ask him 'so what do you do for a living?'. If he is evasive or says something uninformative like 'odds and sods' or 'self-employed', then that's a severe warning sign, ok?

    Centrelink only care if you are in a defacto relationship with someone. I hope you would find out their general financial position BEFORE you get to that point!

  • Judy B
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    Hi

    Maybe they think that that shouldn't matter and next is to never let on fully what you have either, they could in fact be the gold digger!

    First rule, never believe anything you hear until you reaaaaaaaaally get to know the other person.

    In doing that, it takes time and if you're in no hurry to find your soulmate, then time is truly your best friend.

    Cya

    :)

  • sweetheart_in_oz
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    when u know a person well enuff to move in ul know if they work or not

    r u on the dole

    why wud u care if a guy is on the dole and u r working as u say u r no one would care who u lived with but if the guy was on the dole his income wud be cut off

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  • Elskan
    1 decade ago

    Just ask them what they do for a living. I think that by the time you move in with someone, it would have been at least long enough to figure out their lifestyle.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Its a sign of the times basically men don't trust women because women only like blokes with big wallets that's why blokes never show of there occupation to others.

  • Jennifer
    1 decade ago

    Ask them how they spend their days, what they do for fun, what they do to chill out. Not only does it tell you how much spare time they have (working/not-working/part-time) but also their spending and lifestyle.

    I agree, Centrelink is evil.

  • ?
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    generally just looking at them and their conversation ---- how they dress where they live --- how they talk --- their values ---- its an attitude even if they do have a job ---- it would be easy to pick those guys that are worth going out with ----- have fun

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    saying that u want austrailians to answer is retarded! u prolly wnt get many answers either! thats just jacked up

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