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My 2 1/2 year old with behavior problems?

My 2 1/2 year old daughter seems to have serious behavior problems. Both me and my husband have a fair share of "mental problems." I have severe anxiety, depression and been diagnosed with mild ADHD. my problems are medicated and under control as best as can. My husband has been diagnosed at a young age with pretty bad ADHD, in school he was in classes for being ADHD and Classified "E.D." My daughter is showing all the classic symptoms that he also shows for ADHD, and some days I cant handle it. I dont know what to do with her, I also have a 9 month old I take care of. I told my husband I was considering going to see if she had ADHD, and possible medication. he flat out refuses to get her medicated. He was medicated with ritilan as a kid, and it made him into a zombie, he drooled on himself and got lots of bloody noses. He dosent want her to go onto Adderal because its "as addictive as crystal meth" and he dosent want to put her on it. I dont know what to do.

Update:

He thinks we need to put her on a strict schedule. I am not able to do a strict schedule...mine is more layed back. Honestly, I am not sure I am capible mentally of doing a strict schedule. Help me please! my daughter throws fits over EVERYthing, I cant handle it anymore

Update 2:

Please no rude comments!!! I am racking myself enough about how to handle this!....I have been loosing sleep over it!

Update 3:

I do spank her when nessacary. I am a beliver in spanking.

Update 4:

Oh and A M...I dont "watch" a 9 month old.....I have a 9 month daughter also. I have 2 kids...

13 Answers

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  • [anon]
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Calm down. Being upset isn't going to help you or your daughter. Just take a few deep breaths and try to relax a bit. :)

    Now, I would say that you need to talk to a doctor about this. The first thing you need to do though is get a diagnosis. If she is just having some really terrible terrible twos, then it's nothing to worry about.

    If she does wind up diagnosed ADHD, you may want to consult a specialist, and just emphasize that you would like medication to be an absolute last resort. For some kids, occupational therapy or kiddie group therapy work really well. I've also heard of "alternative" type treatments like special diets, vitamins, etc, but you'd need to consult a practiced homeopathic physician about that.

    Remember that it is also possible that even if she has ADHD, her behavior will improve somewhat once she is out of her terrible twos.

    Good luck! (And ignore the trolls, they smell :p)

  • 1 decade ago

    These medications are BAD. Ever read the side effects? A lot of kids nowadays with ADHD do not actually have any problems other than lack of discipline, which is what your husband is trying to tell you. You need to make yourself fit a stricter schedule. Children who don't have any schedule's just run amok. And that's any children. If it is too much, don't watch the 9 month old anymore. If you can't handle your daughter, you need to think about getting help or sending her with a relative or friend. The terrible twos are tough, 3s get even harder and without rules, it's even worse. ADHD is thrown around way too much. Each year there is a different way to determine which symptoms it is. It is a catch all for everything that cannot be "controlled". I knew a woman whos son was in a bike accident and ended up with brain damage. The school decided to put him on medication (yes, a lot of schools can do that) and determined he was ADHD. These pills are addictive...and even though it looks like these kids are getting better grades, it actually lowers the IQ.

  • ?
    Lv 4
    5 years ago

    Punishments will make children worse, not better. If you have ever hit your son, that has taught him that hitting is acceptable. If you take things away from him, that teaches him that stealing is acceptable (remember ,this is a two-year-old perspective). A time-out is appropriate if he needs to calm down, but that should be quietly on your lap, or reading a book together - not sending him away to feel unloved. it's possible that he has some kind of problem - he could be high-functioning autistic, for instance, or have ADHD - but if so, punishment of any kind will just push him further into his own world. It's also possible that he has a food intolerance - if he ever eats any food containing colourings, artificial sweeteners, sugar, wheat, cow's milk, citrus fruits, corn (or other common problems) then you should be keeping a food diary to see if there's a connection. Cows' milk products are often associated with out-of-control aggression, as is sugar. So try cutting those out totally for three or four weeks, and see if it makes any difference. In the meantime it sounds like his emotional tank is on empty... so concentrate on hugs, reassurance, eye contact, and spending time playing with him at his level. Read lots of books to him - if he can't concentrate for long, try several five-minute slots. And if he has any access to TV/DVDs/computer games, those must stop completely. No more than half an hour per day is recommended for a child under three, but an out-of-control child may need none at all. Finally, talk to him. Even if his language is delayed he almost certainly understands pretty much everything you tell him. Explain that kicking hurts, show him bite marks and explain that you don't like them. Tell him that you love him, and would never hurt him (assuming that you don't actually spank/hit him of course). Watch for times when he starts behaving this way, and ask him how he's feeling. Even if he isn't yet talking in complete sentences, he should be able to tell you in his own words what is upsetting him. if none of this helps, you should take him to a paediatrician, or even a child psychologist who can check for actual learning disabilities or serious behavioural issues.

  • 1 decade ago

    being stricked i think is NOT the answer

    try a stricked diet of fresh meat fruit veg make it nutrianaly ballenced as certain e numbers matter

    as you know adhd can be helped by a good diet excersise get her dancing bouncing running,you'll be exhausted but your little girl is getting all the right life changing ways that could calm her down avoid omega 3 and 6 if she does have adhd as it can make the condition 100 times worse for some reason the omega 3 and 6 have the adverse affect than in the naughty child who isnt paying attention.

    make as many scrap books with pictures from cataloges magazines etc.she will spend time looking at the things she enjoys ,

    2 1/2 is a testing time for any parent sometimes its just she cannot get her point across and its fustrating for her

    buy her a new baby so that she can feed baby and change baby and wind baby when you do when you bath her put your baby in to just incase shes feeling a little left out i have 3 children and theres no pleaseing the they all think i love the others more your doing a great job smile 2 great children and a lovely man perfect people just you remember that

    but belive me the food works by all means treat her but ban all foods with added stuff you'll see a difference quickly

    bless you good luck xxxxxxxxxx

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Talk to her pediatrician to first of see if she even has ADHD. My niece who is also 2, throws fits over everything and she has never been diagnosed with ADHD. Could is be possible that it's just typical 2 year old behavior? In which case, it's just a phase that she will outgrow. Maybe she needs more discipline. And I'm sure her doc would have suggestions, other than medication, that might help you out.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    If an older child or an adult behaves like a two year old there is a problem, but when a two year old does it's normal. I think you'll have to wait a while before you can tell if she's going to improve on her own or not. If she were my child I'd avoid medication because her brain is still developing. How can she learn to control herself if she isn't allowed to be herself?

    Although you don't want to give her drugs, you could take her to see a doctor to check there's nothing wrong. ADHD isn't the only thing that can affect a child's behaviour, and drugs aren't the only possible treatment.

  • 1 decade ago

    You should go get her tested. She may just be acting out because she is jealous of the baby. There are ways of helping with her behavior such as diet. Sugar free things like sugar free puddings and jellos. Limit her sugar intake this helps alot. We have 2 boys that we are adopting and I took them and had them tested. They are both medicated but they have alot more problems than just adhd. The medication they are on is not strong. It just calms them down so that they are not so aggressive and I can keep my sanity. They are sweet boys and have been through alot. There alot of different medications other than adderall these days. I found at first the best thing to do is change their diet. You might also have her tested for food allergies. She may just be allergic to something and it making her irritable...One of the boys has alot of food allergies...Kids act different than adults to food allergies...They don't understand what is going on and all they know is that they don't feel well.

  • 1 decade ago

    Honestly I think at this point (because she is so young) it is just her way of demanding attention. Good doctors won't even start testing for ADD/ADHD until they are at least 4 yrs old (and I think that is still too early). It sounds to me like she wants her way and she knows how to get it. You have two really young children. Try teaching your daughter to express herself in positive ways and try getting her involved in lots of projects (even if she is ADD/ADHD projects are the way to go because it gives the kids a form of release). I would also suggest lots of play doh, coloring, etc. to distract her from these "problems"

    Good Luck!

    Source(s): SAHM formerly a childcare teacher and elementary school teacher.
  • 1 decade ago

    You should definitely talk to her pediatrician. They should be able to direct you to a behavioral specialist that could better diagnose her. Don't just assume she's got ADHD based on yours and your husband's diagnoses. It's possible that she's just a normal 2 year old. My son is 3 years old. He can bounce from one thing to another to another all day long and be perfectly content. And he throws tantrums, too. All kids do at that age. However, on the flip side, it could be that she's got issues that need to be dealt with. I'd tend to agree with your husband about not wanting her on meds at that age. But don't just try to deal with it on your own. A specialist will listen to your concerns about meds and will be able to offer you suggestions on what else you can do.

  • 1 decade ago

    Sweet heart thats a two year old.If your haveing that many problems then put her in daycare. That way shes around other kids and will burn some energy.Dont force her on meds. She's only two they wont put her on reidlan anyways.When your feeling like your about to have a anxiety attack put her in her room for a few minutes until you calm down. Remeber she 2.. There is a sayind terriable twos. Until she gets older shes going to have a temper. If it gets really bad call a friend or your mother to vent.

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