Need your opinion about a married guy friend. He was with his wife for 5 years and they have a kid together.?

Honey, I am so sorry! This must hurt you so deeply. I feel very bad about the situation you found yourself in. However, with that said, *you* sound like a very sweet woman and you deserve a man who loves only you, and is not madly in love with somebody else, regardless of how that person does or does not treat him. He is responsible for his own life. He is responsible for how he allows this woman to treat him. Nobody can force another to have better self esteem, self esteem and a solid sense of self worth which would allow him or her to not allow another individual to take advantage or harm him/her.

I want to encourage you to think of just yourself right now. It was unfair of him to enter another relationship when he wasn't finished with the last one. He didn't show you any respect or consideration by getting with you and allowing you to build feelings for him. That is *not* what a *sweet* man does. Period. I understand you have feelings for him, but you also need to consider your feelings for yourself.

Try to not get pulled into a situation which is lose-lose for you. You sound like a well adjusted individual, who has self respect. Try to distance yourself from this situation so you don't get pulled back into such dysfunctional behaviors. You must be aware that anyone who would leave a individual who has shown goodness and genuine care and affection for somebody with a track record of emotional abuses isn't as healthy as appears on the surface. If you allow yourself to get sucked back in your could inadvertently harm your own self esteem and self worth.

We do teach people how to treat us. If we allow them to take advantage of us, to only give us a small portion of their affection, they learn that we will accept far less than we really deserve. When other people witness this they too are likely to treat us in a similar fashion because we are allowing others to do so. We must insist on proper respect and decent treatment, because sadly too many people will walk over us otherwise.

I am very sorry for your pain and feelings of loss, if in fact that is what you are feeling. I cannot assume how you feel, but you do seem frustrated and a bit angry. It is understandable to feel frustration when we view somebody we care about allow him or herself to be treated poorly.

Consider going out and doing something just for you. Connect with your friends and reaffirm your own worth.

Good luck and much success with your future relationships. Please try to have a nice day.

Walk away as fast as you can. It may hurt you for a while, but seriously you deserve to be a guy's FIRST choice---NOTHING LESS.

Also, he gets treated like crap, because he allows it. Don't fall for the idea that if you are "sweet" and show him that "you care" and that "he deserves better" that he will love you. Love is love--given freely and without attachments--especially of the "if I help him get over her.." mentality.

Even if he ends up leaving her, eventually he will dump you. You will end up the girl who showed him that he deserved better and the next girl down the line (once he does get over his ex--if he does) will end up the girl he "falls in love with." Don't be his love psychiatrist or therapist.

Now go to a mirror and recite, "I deserve to be FIRST CHOICE" and "When I meet the right guy, I won't have to work for his love, because he will give it to ME and ONLY me freely" AND "When two people love each other, everyone else (their past loves) no longer matter. Both people will have their hearts open to one another." (Sorry, as sad as it may seem, his heart is closed to you it really is.)

Even if the "ex" is no longer an issue for a person, sometimes the person involved hasn't yet gotten over their "ex" and that can doom many a new relationship. Having the "ex" still involved in playing mind games and heart games can only lead to your heart breaking even further. Love doesn't hurt. It really doesn't. Leave. Grieve. Cry. Pray. And then go find someone with an open heart.

You cannot change the way someone feels and he obviously still feels in love with his semi-x. If he told you he would go back at any chance of reconciling then you need to move on because he won't change his feelings. You deserve someone who makes you number one, not someone who says you are the second choice. You can read more about my thoughts on love at http://gothducks.blogspot.com./ Best of luck in this, you definitely deserve better.

I would advise you to move on because he obviously doesn't think much about the relationship and he still has strong feelings for her. He is obviously making a mistake, but you can't live his life for him. You deserve more than he can give you.

Don't wait for him because you will miss out on a healthy relationship that both you and your partner will be invested in.

you need to move on because you deserve better. she will always be in his life since they have a baby and she knows how to work him. i can see where he is coming from because he most likely wants to be with his child more... he needs to see his ex for what she is and how she treats him but if he cant or wont then you need to find love also that will never put you in second place to another woman... best of luck to you.

Well, it sucks for you to be in that position. She should not be treating him that way. But he should be standing up to her and saying he will not allow her to treat him like that. She either needs to fish or cut bait. She can't have both- unless he lets her. So he has a tough decision to make, but really- if it isn't obvious to him who he should choose, maybe you need to move on to someone a little more decisive. You deserve to have someone certain enough of their feelings toward you that they can say "enough is enough" to their crazy ex.

What are you waiting for to leave??? This is one big mess. Don't think that this guy is going to change....let him go back to her. Apparently, he likes to be treated like she treats him. You need to look for someone who is committed to you 100%. It's just too much of a hassle. Good luck and move on.

There are women like that and they have husbands like him. Im quite sure you already advise him and he still wants her back inspite of everything. I know how you feel, i got friends in same situation. Let him find out for himself that she won't change and she really does not care about him. Sometimes it is hard though for us to see them getting hurt and taken advantage of but there is really nothing we can do if they don't want to help and assert themselves.

ok, what a love triangle you are in! as we all know, when it comes to relationships, a third party is never good! u need to let him go. it does sound like she treats him like crap, but he obviously is the kind of guy who likes to be treated like that or he would not be catering to her eviery wish! if she has that strong of a hold on him, he must ve let her get control of him at one point. that ll probally never change either! ud b better off with a man who knows what he wants and who he is! not a man who has to be told how to live! your his LADY not his MOM! ull be better off it you let this one go! good luck!

People only take advantage of you, if you let them. She knows that he still loves her, so she's going to use that to her advantage. Tell her to tell the guy that she's in love with, to move his backside and help her out.