I am in love with a woman and she is in love with me but I am married, what to do?

Man bro, I am sorry to hear this. Before you make any solid decisions please seek counseling with your wife. Also, when was the last time you guys were able to get away, just you two? I know kids at that age are really time consuming and stressful. But your wife has been through alot watching her mom die and such. You need to get her help because her life is suffering to. If you moved on and found happiness without first trying to help your wife you would be very selfish. I know what your feeling but you have got to try to fix whats broken first. If your wife will not get help and does not plan to better you guys life then consider moving on. But if you do, yes, the kids will be torn apart, it's going to be a hard decision man, but your kids will understand when they are older. Just make sure you are there for them.

YOU SAID YOU are in love with a woman, how can you be sure it is love? Married for 10 years is not a joke. And eventually have two lovely kids which are 8 and 5 years old is something you should put there in your head. YOU SHOULD UNDERSTAND the situation your wife is undergoing right now. If you were in her place I suppose you will do the same thing. Then suddenly you met someone, and review your life passing beneath your eyes, and found love in her. VERY UNLIKELY.

THE ONLY PROBLEM I see is your sex life that's it. Me and my wife haven't have contact since May 2003 but we live together, I found it very disturbing at first but later on I realized a husband and wife must live not only through sex but also through love, I cannot live without my wife. I also wanting to have an extra-marital affair during those time but somehow realized I will be just ruin more than 20 years of my married life. IT IS NOT WORTH IT.

YOu must also have the courage and the guts to choose cloths for your kids, know how to cook food for them, etc. someday she too will leave this world what happen to you just shop around for another woman I suppose? I think you are after only your needs not your kids. If somehow the other woman agree on a relationship you can leave your family in a FLASH just like that. WHO CARES ABOUT THE KIDS, I have seen a lot of these things already some will say because of the kids but the truth is it is really the man's need that counts. YOU SHOULD EVALUATE YOUR LIFE from these time on and weight the advantages and disadvantages of having an affair. WILL THIS BE THE SOLUTION OR THE PROBLEM?

Well, you married your wife knowing that things in life could change, you made a vow to stay with her basically through thick and thin... Do you not think that she has been through enough in the last few years? Shes lost the person that raised to to be the person she is and is now taking care of her father.. You on the other hand are just thinking with your member... you say you have fallen out of love with a woman that you notice is there for your children and her father.. someone that seems to have her heart out there, she cannot be that bad of a person.. so what if you have not slept together in a year.. Is she still there for you emotionally? Does she still treat you like her husband? I mean big thing is if she is still acting wifely and doing everything the same other than not giving you any, whats the big deal? God gave you hands and the industry has made many movies. Why do you not try a nice romantic evening to let her know that you are still there for her.. try to start things over with her.. you have kids to think about. Why bring another woman in the picture, you are a bad husband to have even fallen in love with another woman while married......Do what your heart says is right man..

Don't take a 10 year marriage so lightly. You made vows to your wife and promised to stick through "sickness and health" TOGETHER! Your wife is obviously having a very hard time and going through some difficult things. She needs you now more than ever. Talk to her! Ask her how you can show her that you love her. Stop seeing this other woman- and start spending time alone with your wife. Love is a choice. It only diminishes when we stop giving it. Get counseling if you need, but do everything you can to save your marriage. THE BEST THING YOU CAN DO FOR YOUR KIDS IS TO LOVE YOUR WIFE!!!

The choices are evident, but to stay for the kids would be wrong and right., It's a catch 22.

Now as for falling in love and reinventing yourself you may want to follow that path and the consequences you know are child support to the kids and Medical Insurance has to be kept on them.

So now, are you ready float or sink is totally up to you.

A divorce will cost you either way and child support is a dickens especially Medical Insurance...not trying to scare you out of it just making sure she is what you want.

You know I met several ladies since I have been married and some younger ladies too and I'm here to tell ya, I had the affair in which your case you didn't.

If you have the urge to let go, let go you will feel better trust me.

You get your hormones all in a rage and fall in love your asking for trouble.

I have a line that I do not cross and the ladies that have fallen for me know why I never cross that line.

You crossed it when fell in love with her.

Let me add one more thing here for you. Don't be so weak Dude! It's like every time see a good looking gal walk by or one that gives you the smiles and laughing and hugging and kissing the next you know your in love...that's a crock Dude!

Your soft Man and softy is for kids...you best stand tall or have a pair of balls for who you are and stop letting this floozy crap moo you into your worst nightmare.

If you need to unload on a woman....unload Dude!, but don't fall in love. Just go back home to your wife with a smile. I'm not telling you to have an affair, I'm telling you whatever it takes for you to unload do it.

You have spent ten years with this woman, in every life a little rain must fall, that tragic accident was a downpour. The wedding vows mention through sickness and health, she needs you more then ever right now. Be a man, stand by your family, support your wife, don't throw it all away for a few minutes of pleasure and a life time of guilt. Your relationship will be stronger for it, your kids can grow up in a house with a complete family, and may learn a lesson in family values to boot. They realize things are not right and are watching to see how it is handled. Do you want them to learn to run away from their problems, or face up to them and overcome them?

Your love affairs happened simply because u felt lonely inside, and in real situation you still need your wife to move on in this life. Your wife is the person whom always by your side through good and bad times particularly when you just started to stabilize financially and emotionally, you both have raised the family these far and this moment of time could be the worst time in her life and she needed you by her side for emotional support, be fair!!! Your girlfriend came into your life when things has been set up nicely and just fit-in into the losing piece that you thought neglected by your wife.

Talk it out to your wife about what has been missing between you both, and work things out again. You blessed with 2 beautiful kids and please think about their feeling.

May God bless you always!!

Sounds like you have already left the marriage and the kids aren't stupid.. You need to decide which is more important to you the new woman or "both" your wife and kids and go from there...

Kids are stronger than you think and if you choose this other woman that doesn't mean you can't still be a very vital part of their life...

It's honorable that you're staying for your children. But, you also have to remember that children are very good at noticing when something is wrong. So, staying may not be the best environment either.

You could try counseling or talking to your wife first because you never know, she could feel the same way about the situation.

I do believe that children should come first, but in certain situations staying isn't always the best answer.

When you married did you say, "For better, or worse, in sickness and in health, and oh yeah, until ten years has gone by and my family is challenged with a major life change - then I am "outta here." You may as well have. This is LIFE you are living, with someone you promised to love for a lifetime.

You are caught between needs and selfishness. Love your wife, support her - reconnect. Look your children directly in the face and see yourself, your wife - you know, the original plan and stick with it! Have a great day and good luck!