favorite line of Talladega Nights?

This sticker is dangerous and inconvient but I do like Fig Newtons

This is like Highlander.” “What’s Highlander?” “Its a movie.” “Is it good?” “It won the Academy Award for… best movie ever made

I want to talk to you about snow blindness in cats. It’s affecting a lot of cats…and it scares the **** out of me

Susan, I've never heard you talk like that... Are we about to get it on? Because I'm as hard as a diamond in an ice storm right now.

Shake and bake!

I like to think of Jesus like with giant eagles wings, and singin' lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd with like an angel band and I'm in the front row and I'm hammered drunk!

I like to think of Jesus wearing one of those tuxedo t-shirts. It's kind of formal but says, "I'm here to party" too

Magic Man! Abracadabra homes

Shut up Chip or I'll come at you like a spier monkey.

I'll scissor kick you to the back of the head.

I never did get changed out of my pee pants. I'm still wearing my pee pants now.....

Too many to choose. But the one I use most often is "Help me Tom Cruise. Help me Oprah Winfrey!"

I probably can't repeat the first part of the quote, but it ends with "... dusty old fart". Priceless.

I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence.

"I was thinking about buying a gun and selling some crack but i wouldn't be a mean crack dealer, i'd be a nice one like 'Hey guys whats going on, want some crack?' "

I like - If you ain't first your last. LOL

"I like to think of Jesus as a mischievous badger."