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ackwyork asked in Society & CultureEtiquette · 1 decade ago

Bridal Shower invitation faux pas!!!

My future MIL and SIL's put on a very small brunch shower yesterday. I was surprised and today I found out that my co-workers were not invited. Their feelings are hurt and now don't want to come to the wedding! How should I handle this situation? I feel like I need to apologize, yet it wasn't my fault. I personally would have invited them, but was not consulted about any of it.

Update:

It was very small, only 10 people. Problem comes that the co-workers best friend is a cousin of the MIL and was invited. I feel so bad because I work in a very small office (3 people) for a very long time!

8 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I haven't been to a wedding shower thrown by family that included coworkers, so truthfully your question strikes me as kind of odd. In my experience, if coworkers would like to be involved in a shower, they will throw their own - that goes for baby showers as well. If your coworker's best friend is a cousin of the MIL, (convoluted as that is) then it appears her invitation was because of the family connection.

    Simply explain to your coworkers that the shower was more of a family affair, and that you sincerely wish for them to attend your wedding. If after your apology they still feel slighted and don't want to attend, then you should cut your losses where you are, because it seems your coworkers are a bit on the petty side.

    Best Regards (and congratulations!)

    Holly

  • 1 decade ago

    Who was at the Bridal shower? Was it mostly family? You could try telling them that. I would think that if you explain that you had nothing to do with the guest list, they should be able to get over it. If they continue to be all sulky about it, not much you can do.

    Edit:

    Oh, I just had an idea. Explain the situation to one of your lady friends and ask her to help you out by hosting another bridal shower, just for your co-workers and other friends who didn't get invited to the first one. Something simple and casual, like at a restaurant. It may be in bad taste but it could save your relationships with your co-workers.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Your co-workers should realize that the shower was not given by you, so it's not your fault. In fact, the shower isn't really part of the "official" wedding festivities anyway, and there is nothing to prevent them from giving you a shower themselves. If it's so important to them, that's what they should do, instead of sulking.

  • 1 decade ago

    Explain the situation to your future MIL and SIL. Perhaps they will agree to write notes apologizing to your co-workers for their oversight and explain that they were so rushed in organizing the shower that they forgot to confer with you about the guest list.

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  • dolce
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    If it was small, don't let them get to you. Chances are the gathering was meant for close family members and friends. If any of your coworkers pout about it, tell them that. The shower is thrown for you, and not every guest always gets an invite.

  • 1 decade ago

    Apologizing is a nice thought, but as you said, it's not your fault. but they would probably really appreciate you expressing that you would have wanted them both there.

    And while it was very nice and generous that the brunch was thrown for you, it's sad that is now causing an issue that you are left to deal with.

  • 1 decade ago

    A surprise bridal shower seems a little weird...

    Just say "I'm sorry you were not invited, I was not aware they were planning someone and did not ask me for a guest list." If they can't get over it they are unbelievably petty.

  • 1 decade ago

    explain and have one with your co workers

    if it was a surprize to you they couldn't really ask for every ones number to call them...............

    or arrange a lunch with your co-workers

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