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who needs to lighten up a bit?
Here is why God gave the Jews the Ten Commandments:
God first went to the Canaanites and asked if they would like just one commandment from the Torah.
"What commandment?" they asked.
"Thou shalt not kill," replied God.
The Canaanites thought it over and said, "No thanks, we'll pass."
God then went to the Ishmaelites and asked if they would like just one commandment from the Torah.
"What commandment?" they asked.
"Thou shalt not steal!" thundered God.
"Are you crazy?" they replied. "No thanks."
So God finally went to the Jews and asked if they wanted one commandment.
"How much?" they asked.
"Uh…well, they're free," God replied.
"OK, we'll take ten."
everybody is so tense in r&s...so chill out and enjoy a joke!
20 Answers
- Anonymous1 decade agoFavorite Answer
A refreshingly light hearted approach. Yes, people should probably chillax and have a beer.
- Ying Ding AingLv 61 decade ago
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi walk into a bar, and go right up to the bar but don't sit down. The priest pulls a shotgun out from under his robe and the minister says, "Hand over all the cash".
The bartender starts putting the money into a bag and says, "What kind of a world is this, where priest helps a minister commit robber?"
The rabbi says, "If you think this is bad, you should try sitting through his sermons. They're murder!"
- ?Lv 71 decade ago
I love these and would like to share it with everybody:
The Children of Israel
"Mr. Goldblatt," announced little Joey, "there's something I can't figure out."
"What's that, Joey?" asked Goldblatt.
"Well, according to the Bible, the Children of Israel crossed the Red Sea, right?"
"Right.""And the Children of Israel beat up the Phillistines, right?"
"Er, right."
"And the Children of Israel built the Temple, right?"
"Again you're right."
"And the Children of Israel fought the Egyptians, and the Children of Israel fought the Romans, and the Children of Israel were always doing something important, right?"
"All that is right, too," agreed Goldblatt. "So what's your question?"
"What were all the grown-ups doing?"
Fig Leaf Found
A little boy opened the large old family Bible, and he looked with fascination at the ancient pages as he turned them one by one.
He was still in Genesis when something fell out of the Bible. He picked it up and looked at it closely. It was a very large old tree leaf that had been pressed between the pages of the Bible long ago."Momma, look what I found!" the boy called out.
"What do you have there?" his mother asked.
With astonishment in his voice, the young boy answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear!"
Holy Family in a Plane
A Sunday school teacher asked her students to draw a picture of Jesus' family. After collecting the drawings, she noticed that one little boy's drawing depicted an airplane with four heads sticking out of the windows. "I see you drew three heads to show Joseph, Mary and Jesus," she said to the boy. "But who does the fourth head belong to?"
The boy replied, "That's Pontius the pilot."
gatita_63109
Source(s): Beliefnet jokes of the day - Jay ZLv 61 decade ago
Funny!
A social worker stations himself in a crossroads restaurant with an ethnically diverse clientele. He arranges for selected patrons to receive a bowl of soup with a fly prominently presented center bowl.
Presently, an Englishman enters, receives the bowl, sees the fly, and inconspicuously removes the fly with his spoon and wraps it in his napkin. The social worker records his observations.
Next, an Irishman enters, receives the bowl, sees the fly, picks the bowl up to his lips, and blows the entire top layer of the soup with the fly on the floor next to his table. The social worker records his observations.
Finally, a Scottish gentleman enters, receives the bowl, sees the fly, picks up the fly by his wings, shakes it, and says loudly, "Spit it oout! Spit it oout!"
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- Anonymous1 decade ago
Cute, hahhaha
- Anonymous1 decade ago
god is the best thing so he wins all