My ex husband and by his girlfriend's demand, does not speak with me. We have a daughter who is 11 years old.?

Oh My, you just described the last 17 years of my life! Almost. I shared custody of my son with his father. I too was unable to speak to my ex because his (now wife, then girlfriend) didn't want him speaking to me. Her issue was more of a jealousy, thinking we would get back together issue. Anyhow, she and I never had harsh words, and she never spoke poorly to me, to my face, but my son has told me some stories.

anyways, I am unsure what state you are in, but there are a couple of things you can do.

1. Do you have a custody agreement? Most agreements have 1-2 pages of stipulations that are generic text that states that both parents will refrain from making belittling or negative comments about the other parent in front of or to the minor child. These stipulations usually also contain a clause that say you may contact your child while in the other parents custody, but it is usually limited to once per day. If this is part of your agreement, he is in contempt. You will have to take him to court to file contempt of court charges.

2. Since it seems most of the issues are with the G/F and you obviously have texts that she has written to you that are negative, KEEP THEM, do not delete them, you may need this as evidence in the case that it goes to court. This is a 2 way street so if you have written anything bad to her, she herself may have copies.

3. You should also gather all the medical/dental bills that you have been paying or have been accumulated and take them with you to court for child support. He will probably be found in contempt.

4. When you go to court for child support, they probably will not deal with the custody issues, but I would try and bring up the issues you are having with the girlfriend. They could tell your Ex that he needs to be the only one to communicate with you. If you cannot speak over the phone, they may set up an email communication. Personally this is best because it is all in writing, so if he changes anything,etc., he has to write it down, and vice versa.

5. As for the G/F, if she keeps harassing you, which is what she is doing, you will have to seek a restraining order of some sort to keep her from contacting you.

Sorry about your predicament, been there, done that. My son is now 17, will be 18 in November and after living with his dad for the last 4 years, has moved back home because of the bad situation over there.

be strong for your daughter, be the bigger person, most states allow a child of 12 to decide where they want to live, and if she chooses not to go to her dads, she doesn't have to go. But you will need to get a new court order for that.

If he is taking you to court over his objections to the rise in court support it is a perfect opportunity for you to ask the court to clarify things like being given notice of the time that he is picking your daughter up and bringing her back, being able to talk to her on the phone while she's at her father's, overdue payment of his share of medical/dental/orthodontics (bring the bills), and in particular what the court calls "no disparaging remarks about the other parent".

Any questions about your daughter or her support or expenses should be resolved between you and her father. None of that is any business of a girlfriend and she certainly shouldn't be telling you what to do or calling you names. Can you set your phone to reject texts from her?

If your daughter really doesn't want to go to her dad's when the girlfriend is there, then you can request that from the court also, but you need to have good clear reasons why being around the gf makes her so unhappy. Please, do not tell your daughter all the mean things the gf has done to you, she is too young to be burdened with all that when there's nothing she can do to help, so don't recruit her for 'your side' but instead leave her totally out of it.

Sounds like a very complicated situation.

I cannot be very much help because I don't have experience in this area. However, I can address this request -- Please tell me the girlfriend has no rights to be cussing and calling me a terrible mother. First of all, anyone can cuss you out and call you a terrible mother. The only time the cannot do it is if they are calling you and harassing you. This is not true if you are calling them.

As for the rest of it, try to be patient long enough to speak with your lawyer. If I were you, I would write out all my questions for the lawyer ahead of time so you don't use up precious time when meeting with the lawyer.

One could be: He is not paying any of the medical/dental/orthodontics that he is required to. How do I get him to pay what the court already decided? Bring a record of medical expenses you have paid for that he was supposed to and give a copy to your lawyer.

Best wishes.

This is a tough situation. Daddy has a new piece of you know what and that's what he is about. Even if the daughter gave him an ultimatum, he would probably say he was sorry for the way she felt and feel like he had been let off the hook, so to speak.

Best thing to do in this situation is stop texting him, stop calling him and if he wants to see his daughter, he can see her according to the custody agreement. It should be pretty clearly spelled out.

The gf doesn't have any right to cuss you out or call you anything, but she feels like your ex husband is now her property and she is going to exert her informal power until such time he realizes he has some nuts.

Hopefully, it won't be too late for your daughter.

Although her interference isn't quite "custodial interference" , it borders it. Not returning a child after their visit is simply dealt with. You call the non-emergency police number, meet the police at the father's home WITH court order and they should knock on the door and escort child to your car. Court orders must be clearly stated for police to understand them. Then you tell the officer you need a copy of the police report and go pick it up the next day at the police station. Go into court with three or four of those reports and it may get the judge's attention.

GF is also interfereing with the CHILD"S RIGHT to have both parent's love and affection. She is exhibiting PAS Parent alienation syndrom: she is bad-mouthing the child's parent and preventing the child to speak to its parent. Yes, that is cusdodial interference- and she isn't even a parent. Bring this to your lawyer's attention using thse terms.

As for the child support. Keep every reciept for food, clothing and housing that you spend, add them up and itemize. Ask the lawyer how to submit into that CS hearing.Download the CS calculator from your Superior Court and fill it out to the best of your ability. Ask for ex's W-2's once a year to see if he is making money he isn't declaring.

Be the best prepared as you can!

I think the girlfriend understands that you've had an on again off again relationship, so she's being overly protective and controlling. Your ex-husband is probably just doing what she wants him to do in order to keep peace around his house.

You need to call your husband and let him know that if the two of you go to court over something like braces, the judge will most likely chew you both out for wasting his/her time. I can promise you that the judge will make a decision that you will both hate just to spite you for having a child together and not keeping the child's best interests at heart.

Document everything, and don't delete anything from your phone. Those text messages will help support your arguments.

Right now, you're not going to be able to talk intelligently and rationally with your ex. That's too bad, but that's the way it is. It sounds to me like his girlfriend is very jealous and insecure, and she's lashing out at you to try to deal with the jealousy. Tell your daughter the gist of what's going on, but don't try to turn her against her father or the girlfriend. Your daughter will figure out quickly what's going on, and who to trust. She may even ask to not go to see her father if the girlfriend is there, but that's HER decision, not yours. You could ask the lawyer if she has the right to do this, and what ramifications it might have - like loss of child support, for example.

In the meantime, trust the lawyer for legal advice, not what you read here - even if it's mine. Someone may claim to be a lawyer, and may even be one. But they don't necessarily know the law in your state, and your situation. The best you can count on here is a little bit of common sense and moral support.

If your daughter feels that way, why don't you speak to your lawyer about getting that taken care of. She shouldn't have to spend time with his new girlfriend, if she doesn't want to. It's not as if it's his wife and it's not making her feel good. Plus, why the hell is his GF speaking, texting, etc. with you? You should be keeping records of all her texts, and all of the texts that she interrupts your daughter and you on. Keep all the records of everything, so if your daughter doesn't want to go to dad's anymore, you have some proof of what's happening and why she feels the way she feels. As for him, he's a loser, sorry to say. He helped create a perfect daughter, and that may be the most he ever does. Best of luck!

You need to get a lawyer a sue him for child support and child custody rights. Make sure you bring proof of all the things you can regarding child care and expenses to your lawyer. keeping a child longer than is allowed is contempt of court. Have the judge ask the child who she wants to live with. Get your phone number changed and don't let the GF know what it is.

A great way to get your ex back is https://tr.im/YJivs

They might realize they need you and come crawling back!

If you do get back together, don't let the same issues that destroyed your relationship crop up again. Have a good, long talk about how you're both going to make it right this time.