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Finding yourself/being respectful vs. Being more social?
This is a pretty general question and so I will put it out there to everyone. Do people find it more important to be more social as in dating around alot in your 20's or is it more important to figure out who you are and what you want out of life before dating someone?
The reason I ask this is because a chick on another message board (having so much luck with these, lol) talked about avoiding dating altogether as she was a virgin and kept coming across bad guys and what not. I agreed with her, then I get this tirade back and forth with this older male poster saying that I can get to know myself if I was out dating more and that the fact that I'm avoiding dating can cause serious social interactions with people down the road if I keep putting it off.
Now for me personally, I know that I want to finish college first, move out of my parents house, have my own place and stuff like that before dating anyone, because for one I would like to talk to a professional about some of my trust issues and get past them. And I would also like to have my head on straight enough so that I'm not like most of my friends or family just going after any guy and wind up with kids and in a situation I don't wish to be in. But the dude kept at it like I was just out of my mind for wanting to do things this way.
I mean he was going into all these things about "just knowing" his wife was the one for him and that he was human and made mistakes but he got out there. Again have nothing against him or getting out to date some people. But seriously I know how my life is not in the best place right now, and as I do live with my parents, I think its more important to show RESPECT for THEIR house and not have guys calling all night or hanging around all day. Not only that but I feel that clearing one hurdle (college for now) is definitely a bit more important for me right now, so I wouldn't have to be so stressed about passing my grades and handling confusing emotions with someone right now.
So I throw it out to yahoo answers folks, do you think or find that being more socialable/dating in your 20's is of greater importance than figuring out who you are as a person or vice versa? Let me know.
2 Answers
- bobbyLv 51 decade agoFavorite Answer
I think that they are both important. But you don't need to be with someone to find out things about yourself. I think there are so many failed marriages in the U.S. because people are stupid and go for feelings over logic and end up in a situation they want to immediately get out of after realizing they married someone they can't get along with. I think your idea is good. You are obviously a smart girl and you know what's best. You'll graduate in your early/mid twenties and be one of those cool people who avoided being sucked into that downward spiral. After school you'll have plenty of time to figure out what you like and don't like in a guy and be a strong independent woman.
- 1 decade ago
Well i think as long as you have your goals in life set, then dating people should just give you experience of what out there. Its up to you to decide which step you would want to go either go with one complete your goals or do both.
