If gay people are confident in their sexuality why ?

Just because you're straight doesn't mean that you shouldn't be able to understand it. It's pretty simple. There are two possible explanations, they might both happen.

Because social ideology promotes stereotypical gender roles and conservative relationship values, everybody in society believes or values that a relationship consists of a male and a female. Don't take this literally, i mean that subconsciously everybody sees a relationship as a pairing of masculine and feminine. The fact that gay people are in an unconventional relationship does not make them immune to social ideology, which is forced onto us from day one. This is simply translated into the way a lot of gay people behave. It's not a consciousus decision, it's just something we've all learned throughout our lives and we behave accordingly and subconciously. It doesn't have anything to do with being proud or ashamed, it's just how we've been taught to relate to each other.

Either that or a part of being gay is that merging of the two genders. In which case, it's not a learned behaviour and still has nothing to do with pride or shame.

1. Ellen Degeneres does not dress like a man! A woman with any sense in style would realize this! Those suits are tailored perfectly to fit a woman's body, if she dressed like a man she would look like crap. Also, how do you know she takes on the "male figurehead" in her relationship? Just because she doesn't wear skirts doesn't mean she's gender bending.

2. This is the 21st century, women embrace pants as well as suits and other menswear, thank you Coco Chanel =] (for those of you who don't know, it is indeed Coco Chanel who introduced menswear tailored to flatter women =] )

3. Why do you think women=skirts and dresses? Gender is so much more than clothes. I am a girl, I am proud of it, and I am a lesbian, I'm proud of that too, I am proud of who I am, the person I am, does wearing pants and suit jackets make me a different person? Of course not, I'm still a woman, except that in a suit I've gone from being a woman to a woman who looks d@mn fine in a suit =] Does that mean I'm butch? HAH! No, if you saw my shoe collection, you'd realize I'm not butch. I wear skirts now and then, and dresses ocassionally. But really, what girl doesn't love a pair of nice fitting jeans? And pair those nice fitting jeans with a nice button down shirt and a suit jacket and BAM you're ready for the office. It's all so practical. Anyways, I'm getting off topic here, the point is, women who are confident are confident enough to wear what they want w/out worrying about social norms and what other people think, and women in menswear DO NOT look like men, they look fabulous =] (thank you coco chanel again!)

It dose not have anything to do with your sexual orientation. It is the way you feel comfortable and if you like the way you dress then go for it. It goes the same by your personality. Why would anyone degrade themselves because of what other people think about them? Also not a lot of gay people do this and I don't Ellen Degeneres dresses like a man.

Gender presentation and sexuality do not necessarily go hand in hand. And this is not exclusive to gay and lesbian people. For example, there are women who dress very masculine and butch and they like men. And there are women who are lesbian who are feminine. I wouldnt call Ellen butch though- shes just like any woman who doesnt prefer to wear dresses.

Id call KD Lang butch. She wears mens suits a lot these days.

Equally there are men who enjoy wearing ladies dresses and underwear at home and they are straight in their sexuality.

Some women like to dress like men. Some like to dress more femininely, while some dress differently on different days, depending on their mood. The world is far too complex to just box everyone into he/she femme/masculine and how boring would it be if I was to tell you you had to wear a dress and act feminine all the time?

Who decided that one gender had to dress a certain way? Do you wear pants, od are you still stuck in times when women were not allowed? Ellen still looks very much a woman to me....and the fact that she is comfortable enough in her own skin to dress in a manner that pleases her, well that right there shows how confident and "ok with being gay" she is. What does how a person dresses have to do with their confidence in their sexuality anyway : )

Since I know someone thats gay really well (I'm straight), in a way, they kind of find it sexy to look like the opposite sex and still take pride in their own sex. They also wan't to make it obvious that they are gay so that people don't bother asking questions. Women that are lesbian and dress masculine, dress masculine because it makes their sexuality obvious and also attracts other lesbian women. With gay realtionships, often someone takes the role of a man and the other takes the role of a woman.

How we dress doesn't mean that we are uncomfortable with who we are. It simply means that that is how we wish to dress.

Straight people should stop wondering about why we as gays wear clothes of the opposite gender and try it for a week themselves. Then maybe you wouldn't ask dumb questions and leave us in peace.

I think you're confusing sexuality with gender identity. They are both fluid scales- sexuality has homosexual on one end and heterosexual on the other, and gender identity has masculine on one end and feminine on the other. Any person can be at any point on both of the scales. The masculine gay woman and the feminine gay man are just stereotypes.

WOW! People dress and act in a way that makes them comfortable and feel like themselves. Ellen dresses manly because she wants to dress manly its who she is and if she dressed and took on a roll of someone she is not she wouldnt be happy. Thats just how it is you have your gay guys who dress and act fiminine and those who dress and act manly and you have the gay girls who dress and act fiminine and the ones who dress and act manly its all about who you are.

It's like this. Gay people may dress like their opposite gender but it doesn't mean that they hate their own gender. Like with Ellen Degeneres. She acts like a woman but dresses like a man.

I've met guys that are very femmenine but don't hate the fact that they're guys. They accept themselves for who they are.

It's just their lifestyle and they are comfortable with it. It's that simple.