Christian ladies~~that value marriage~~ what do you think.?

I have seen this kind of situation time and time again in Christian marriages...and it is a horrible one...We are told in Scripture that the Husband is indeed the spiritual head of the family and so forth, but unfortunately, some guys get the wrong idea, interpreting this idea as being that they are totally in charge and whatever they says goes...this is not what the Bible says at all...A Biblical marriage is one of love and devotion and support...both partners giving and receiving...both husband and wife caring and supporting one another...

Unfortunately there is not much that you can do on your own...from experience, whenever one of these sort of men are challenged, they take it as a challenge in the spiritual sense, seeing their wives as being Jezebel incarnate! There is certainly the possibility that you will not be able to change him...but God can. Pray on the matter...and trust me, I KNOW this sounds like a crap answer...but it's true...Ask God to soften your husband's heart, to speak to him on the matter and bring him to an understanding of the problems in your relationship...

I don't think marriage is easy. I think you have to just make it through the rough spots in hope that the good spots will come soon and often. If your husband is like most, there is no way you're going to get him into counseling. You can't change him anyway. You can only change yourself. Don't take his crap anymore. Stand up for yourself firmly. Argue. Nothing is better than a good "yelling it out" when you've been the quiet polite little wife for so long. Even if you don't "win" at least you will feel like you've had your say.

Also, just a side thought, what church do you go to? Some are a little more on the submissive side for the role of women. That may be a hindrance instead of a help.

I am no woman, but I can tell you are dealing with a man that does not have the slightest idea of how a man is supposed to be in marriage.

The Bible has a lot to say about the man's role and responsibility. Depending on whether or not your Pastor is actually teaching rightly will determine if your husband ever hears the truth.

Even then, he may not submit to the words of God. A man is to love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it. If that verse were a board, I would whack him good and hard with it. (I get impatient I guess)

If he could just begin to realize what that verse means, he would NOT be treating you as if you were an accessory to his life.

Seriously, try marriage counseling preferably with a minister that is qualified, and will stick with what the Bible says, not what the modern thinkers recommend.

There are so many women out there with the same problem. The key is to get out there and make your own life to make yourself happy too! You can still have a great marriage along with it, but begin by telling hubby what you are going to do. "I'm not happy and I have to do something for MYSELF." If you go to church, is it possible to have a word with the minister? Will hubby go to counseling? I see some left websites, also to check out. Good luck...I have been through this myself, and still working on it, but have been married 21 years and don't regret it. You may also try to join some type of women's groups you are interested in, or even some volunteer work. Anything to help build your self-esteem, and of course, pray unceasingly. God will hear and help.

First off and this is probably a dumb question, but have you tried to sit down with your husband and calmly discuss your viewpoint? That would be my first suggestion. Try to explain how you're feeling -- without placing blame or name-calling.

If that doesn't work, then I agree with many others who suggested marriage counseling. Is there a family minister at your church? He would be a good one to counsel you two. If your husband won't go, perhaps you can talk to a minister yourself to explain your dilemma.

And most importantly, pray. For your husband, your marriage, your family, and yourself. Ask for God's guidance, wisdom, and strength as you try to work through this problem. God bless.

I'd just recommend counseling.

We are called to submit to our husband's leadership, but that doesn't mean they get to be dictators. Men are called to love their wives as Christ loved the church. He died for the church! If your husband is following his own selfish desires and not considering your needs, he isn't fulfilling his role of biblical marriage.

My husband I consider ourselves equal partners. If there is something we disagree on, we pray about it, discuss it, pray some more and hope to come to agreement. If we don't, then my husband does get the final say. But the leadership is largely meant to be SPIRITUAL, not that he always gets to pick the movie, pick the house, and tell you what to do.

Best of luck to you. If you don't want to try counseling, I'd definitely recommend a marriage retreat weekend. Hang in there! It can get better!

A great book I can recommend is Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas.

He sounds controlling. Marriage is a two way street. I'd suggest marriage counseling but from what you've posted he won't go along with it unless he's the one that decides it's what he wants. So maybe you should take it to the Lord in prayer.

You're contradicting yourself. First you say he's selfish. Then when I say he's sounds controlling you say he's so loving.So which is it? Hateful, selfish, and negative don't sound like love to me.

Picture yourself with fine clothes on. You are driving to the coast for a fun vacation. But something is missing. You are all alone. Your husband was selfish and you divorced him. When was it your turn to have some fun? You aren't getting any younger and you deserve some fun.

Your children sadly won't speak to you because you broke up their happy home and hurt their dad. They will never allow you back into their lives. You'll never see them be married. Your husband marries again and your children love their new mother. You pass them on the road. They are going to the same resort you are. So sad....you young women don't know when you have the good life.

Cherish your family and thank God for them every day. Before you know it..YOUR SELFISHNESS will get out of hand and you could be alone and old and sick and no one will give a damn.

properly, solid element that Pat Robertson, and relatively, NO guy is our well-known. Our well-known is the certainty and we've that certainty contained in the form of Jesus (John one million:one million) to boot as contained in the form of the Bible (Psalm 12:6-7). we ought to consistently choose the failings of the international with the aid of scripture and with information from doing so, subsequently, the NT for sure teaches that particularly: one million)God would not condone divorce frequently (Matthew 19:8). 2)the only reason for divorce is fornication (Matthew 5, Matthew 19, Mark 10, Luke sixteen, one million Corinthians 7). So no, Pat Robertson is representative of the compromising, worldly nature of latest Evangelicalism that places self above God.

Here is a link to an excellent marriage restoration ministry. There are many testimonies from women whose marriages have been saved and/or restored. They are a wonderful group of women who provide much needed encouragement. All of their teachings are completely scriptural.

http://www.encouragingwomen.org/