Why does my 4 year old fear everything?

Woaaaaaaaaa.

I think you need to have a talk with your ex about his mom. She sounds kooky. I'm sure your daughter's picking it up from her. Kids are so sensitive -- if they see that the adult is frightened about something, they're going to be frightened as well. That happened a few times with my daughter. My husband made an offhand remark about being afraid of people, and my daughter started freaking out and crying when a stranger came near her. I wanted to strangle him. It gave her a phobia for a few weeks.

Words are powerful. It might not sound like anything to an adult, but kids internalize things very differently and they have such vivid imaginations.

Really, at this point, from what you described, I kinda think you need to enlist a therapist. Her fears are disabling her. It must be horrible for her to be so scared of everything.

A good night's sleep is more important for the time being. Hang in there. There's nothing wrong with letting him sleep with you, be comforted by you. There is no way that a teenager will end up hanging onto his mom at night. SO be aware, all things will change, in time. When it's summer and school isn't so pressured for you, that may be the time to explain to him how you'll both practice better sleep habits. He's got a LOT going on, although he may not be telling everything that's he's going through. He's still a child, barely out of babyhood, and he's dealing with a divorce, staying with his dad every other weekend, a new, male you say "intimidating" teacher, and so forth. He may be a gentle spirit that needs your strength and support more than you know. Try making sure there are no electronics before bed, for at least one hour. Read to him. Play soft music. Let him read on his own for awhile. Let him really enjoy being alone for at least an hour. Let him play legos or some other non-electronic game. Video games and movies keep the brain awake with images for a long time after they are turned off. They are a negative for a good night's sleep. Get back into a slow, long routine and return to bedtime rituals. Let him crash on your floor with a sleeping bag until summer. During summer, explain your need for private sleep. Try it out for twice a week. Extend it. Give him a big hug and a pancake on the mornings that he wakes up in his own bed. You are right to be concerned about his sleep deprivation. Even the slightest amount of short-changing a child can produce anxiety, depression, hyperactivity, etc. He may be in a terrible cycle of sorts. You are very smart. Try beginning his routine at 6:00pm. DO what you can to make sure dinner and homework are done before then. Maybe frozen dinners. Maybe homework, dinner AND a short cartoon with mom all at the same time. Or a promise of dinner and a SHORT movie (or even 1/2 a movie... to be finished the following night...) just to make sure it's bath, bedtime and prayers before 8:00pm. Good luck, You clearly love your son, and I want you to know that what you are going through? We've been there.

I had massive problems with getting my 3 month old son to sleep. He would just lie awake and cry for hours, then when he finally went to sleep he would wake every hour or two hours through the night and cry again! Talk about pulling our hair out .... we were absolutely desperate for sleep!

It was a baby sleep audio program recommended by a friend that finally saved us. We followed the advice and began by creating a baby sleep routine which included bathtime, dimming of the lights, putting Paul into his crib, final nappy change and then lullabies. We also made recommended changes to his naps during the day and used some of the other recommended techniques. Within two weeks he was sleeping through the night most nights with just the odd night where he would just wake once!

Definitely start by creating a good baby sleep routine though and you could find that solves most of your baby sleep problems.

Good luck!

If you want to take a look, the audio program is at http://www.babysleepsolution.com/

I do think that the divorce affected her greatly, perhaps she sees it as not normal, she doesn't know what s normal and what's not.

She's wondering what to do and why things aren't the way they are "supposed" to be like, resulting in a fear of everything.

I would suggest seeing a therapist.

Just to solve things out.

Growing up, my little sister had Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and this sounds a lot like it. I would talk to her doctor and maybe a therapist, because her fears are obviously not normal and not going away on their own. Good luck!