For LDS members about marriage?

My husband and I attend BYU-Idaho. We have three children. Yes, my degree will take longer because I can only attend part-time. But I have eternity to earn degrees. I have a limited time to have my own family here on earth. Going to school with children is very doable. My husband and I originally planned on waiting a year, but while in the temple the week after we were married got a very clear message that we needed to start our family immediately. We were pregnant with our first within two weeks.

Shortly before we were married, one of the apostles came to speak for our weekly devortional (it was either Oaks or Perry, sorry, they both came and I get their talks mixed up). He said that school was not a reason to put off family, that we have been admonished to have a family, not to have a family when we feel we are ready. His main point was that if you put if off for school, you were very likely to continue putting it off for other reasons until it was too late. He also said that we do not know what the future holds - there are many sisters that waited to have children and then found because they had waited, they never would be able to.

But this is a decision you and your husband must make together. You both have to want the child and be fully committed to being parents. You need to make this decision in prayer and with temple attendance. The Lord will not lead you astray in this decision and will provide a way for you to follow the path he has laid down for your family.

I think you may be giving into stress of seeing everyoen else havign children and what the president of the churhc says, in my churhc this lady has 8 kids and another has 12. My tubes are tied and this does not make me want to untie my tubes because we have familie sin our churhc that are so big and they home school them. Of course I am a very independant ex-mormon, who believes that when tough times hit, you may need an education to support yourself if your husband dies suddenly or your husband becomes disabled, you just don;t know the future and I think you should not tie yourself down with kids right away, I have seen many a women in UT who go for an education and never finish it, because they get pregnant. But you don;t have to listen to me, I am ex-mormon. I would ask the bishop if you could work in the nursery, that keeps me from having kids. Some of those kids can be so challenging. Amd even though they are gofts from God, they ned alot of of attention and time.

You need to have an honest discussion with your hubby about it. For me and my hubby, when we were going to BYU, we made the decision to leave the matter in the Lords hands. I didn't worry about it - we just let nature [and the Lord] take it's course. My first son was born one week before my hubby graduated with his bachelors. In counselling together and with the Lord, we determined that my health required us to use birth control to ensure a significant space between children. Because we brought the Lord into the equation - I was able to have a truly wonderful experience (even revelation) from the Lord regarding the timing for our second son [it was a 'now'! thing]. Our second son was born a year after law school was finished. The Lord was in control and our 3rd son was born a scant 2 years later. My health did not allow us to have more - but because we involved the Lord from the beginning, the inspiration/revelation and comfort that our family was complete was readily received.

The two of you need to talk together and take it to the Lord together.

It is part of the LDS culture to start having kids early but believe me when I say that their is plenty of time and that as fun as it may seem on the outside having kids when your young and still in school is extremely stressful and hard. Wait until you and your husband are a bit more grounded and aren't finishing school/living in married student housing.

I think you guys made a logical plan, I wouldn't change it based on emotion. Having kids and not being good providers is something to consider, as well as the difficulty still being school and needing to study. Just my thoughts. Good Luck.

How much school do you have left? If less than 2 years, I'd suggest sticking it out.

If more than that, tell him point blank you've changed your mind.

You gave him ur word, have patience. You will be thankful later that you waited until you were finished with school trust me.

Did he ever tell you why he doesn't want kids?