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How do I rewire my neural pathways from negative to positive?
My sexual experience is limited, and I've had a large number of negative sexual experiences, spanning the better part of my active sexuality, and it has come to the point where I can't have sex with my partner because the moment he suggests anything sexual (whether physically or verbally) I feel revulsed and a strong negativity surrounding the whole idea.
I really want to be able to have positive, loving and satisfying sex with him!
But sex just feels so...ugly and painful to me.
"get over it/change your attitude" is easy to say, but doing it is just not so simple.
Constructive ideas and suggestions, please - anyone!! This is a real problem for me. And him!!! :P
1 Answer
- robint47Lv 41 decade agoFavorite Answer
It is important to replace negative beliefs with positive, more true beliefs.
Sex feels ugly and painful to you. Is it ugly because of your perception of your body? Is it ugly because of your perception of his body? What prompts you to believe it is ugly? That's what you need to delve into your psyche and discover. Then once you discover WHY you feel sex is ugly, it will be possible to replace the untruth with more realistic present-day truth in the here-and-now.
Sex feels painful to you? Do you seriously experience pain with intercourse? Perhaps you may wish to investigate the dilemma further with a OB/GYN physician. If you are experiencing pain and there is something that is available to resolve it, then it follows that sex will feel differently to you.
Is the pain physical or emotional? Do you associate sex with an unpleasant event in your past? It is important to work through the beliefs that you've established in your mind and body and test them, see if the beliefs are valid, are true, and are factual. If the negative beliefs are not supported by fact and logic, then they need to be discarded and replaced with positive and affirming beliefs, such as "sex is a beautiful, treasured token of our love and togetherness that only we share with each other."
Beliefs are sometimes difficult to uncover and delve into. It is helpful to be in a quiet environment, alone, without interruption, and perferably candle-lit. These environmental influences are conducive to deep thinking and inward reflection, which is what you will need to pursue if you want to replace negative beliefs and thoughts with positive beliefs and thoughts. If you are consistent in seeking these untruths out, then you will find them and become successful in changing your perspective and enjoying sex with your partner. He will enjoy it much more, as well, because it will help you to be genuinely accepting and open to the closeness, the intimacy, and the pleasure that both of you desire from each other.