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Eleni
Eleni asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 decade ago

Advice on Hurtful In-Laws?

When we had our first child, I considered us young. My husband's parents already had three kids by the time they were our age when we had #1, so I thought they would be our biggest supporters. And in the beginning they were.

But now that I'm pregnant with #2, we've felt a huge difference in the way they treat us. Suddenly, we're very 'young' and 'kids' although we have five years on them (my age with #2 v. her age w/ #2) and nothing we do is right. They're disparaging and downright unkind about our parenting now.

I had a lot of complications with #1 and the same complications (pre-term labor xAlot) have already started. We called FIL for assistance because I was admitted to the hospital and we needed someone to pick up #1. He claimed being too busy to help his youngest son and wife while she was in the hospital.

I don't want to be around them any more and we used to go over to their house on weekends for fun. What would you do? Let the ties fade for a while or confront the hurtful behaviour?

Update:

We do fine financially and we have a daycare set up for her. Usually our parents ask to have her instead of vise versa.

They could be angry that my husband is finishing his masters and I'm supporting (with room to spare) our family. Very old fashioned ideas about who should support who.

3 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Your #1 priority is to your kids and husband. If your in-laws are not being supportive of you and your husband then I am guessing that there is not much of a relationship with your kiddo and most likely won't be when #2 comes either. I would back off from your relationship with them and when and if they ask about it tell them that you are not going to let them treat you this way and set down some ground rules for rebuilding the relationship.

  • LB
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Do you have any idea what's causing this change in them? I mean, are you not able to support your children or something? Being irresponsible and running to them for money or free babysitting are about the only things I could think of that would make them act this way. Why don't you sit them down and ask them what gives?

  • atbkkj
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    I would stand up for myself my husband and my children by keeping my distance, let them come to you and still dont ask for any favors dont be rude but dont allow them to cause you anymore pain

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