One more critique, please.?

~Closer~

Entwined, the grasp of my hand with yours,

As I cling hopelessly to all that I know;

Meshed and formed as if by one knowing creator.

It is such a moment that if your eyes were to close

In a slumber of ethereal dream and silent reverie,

My eyes should close the same.

Entwined, the beating of my heart with yours,

As I relinquish control over all that I know;

Bound and tied as if by one violent force.

It is such a moment that if your breath were to escape

To a world lifetimes away and not of this earth,

My soul should cease to exist.