I addressed an invitation to baby shower to one person. The RSVP included her 3 daughters. What should I say?

I think it was rude, however, it would be FAR more rude for you to exclude the 3 extras than to make room for them. The pain you would cause (perhaps) could last for years, and is it really worth that?

In answer to the last part of your question first..

No she does not.

The invitation was sent to the mother.It was addressed to her (presumably) and not to all four people.

It therefore has nothing to do with the daughters and it is highly presumptuous of them to attend and for the mother to sanction it.

Taken to the nth degree,what if all those you invited had done the same?

You'd need to hire a venue other than your home.

Dealing with 'what you say' in response is really up to you.

If this is a casual/buffet affair then in reality I think you'll have little problem as people squeeze into hallways and corners or garden terraces quite happily.

Also (and I don't know the ages of her daughters),kids tend to congregate together at these type of 'do's' and go off and do their own thing -T.V. room etc.

But if you are planning a 'sit down' meal then I can see your point.

If the latter,then explain the problem adding that 'on this occasion' it really isn't feasible because you cannot physically fit 3 more at the table but another time and you'd love the daughters to come over etc etc.

Do not ever be put into a situation you feel trapped into accepting.

It is not good manners on your part to accept being put on by others.

Yes-it is fair and reasonable to accommodate others if and when you can but within the bounds of common sense.

The reluctance to be 'bullied' into accepting this kind of pressure comes with age and seeing it 'all before'

No Sugar, she does not have that right even if she is related to you. People think baby showers are an informal gathering. They are a party just like any other. It's up to the givers to include or exclude whomever they wish or need to. While it would be easier to just let it be and have the 3 daughters come, your space is limited. Are you throwing the shower for a relative of the invitee? Are the daughters related to the mother-to-be? Are the daughters grown? Does the mother go everywhere with her daughters? Is this the first time she's done this? I suspect this isn't the first time and that she takes her daughters to everything. If she's close to the mother-to-be then she will respect your right to say hey, I invited only you because my space is limited. You put me in an awkward position now because I have to tell you not to bring your daughters. Please have your daughters do something else that day. If she doesn't come after that then she isn't there for the right reasons. It's a sticky situation that she caused. You can get one of the family members to tell her, someone who knows her well. Good luck, I hope it all turns out okay.

as far as my culture is concerned, I will agree with Maha. Kids of a parent are usually implied to be invited to whatever party (shower, wedding or birthday) up to a certain age (eg, 12yo). Heck even a nephew or niece sometimes tag along too...

However, being exposed to "western" cultures, it is also a courtesy for the invitee to check with the host if it's ok to bring other people.

Answering your question, I think you'd have to ask yourself if the kids are young (less than primary school age), and if so, is it reasonable for this person to arrange childcare just for a 1-2hr party? Moreover, how much food does 3kids eat? 2 hotdog hor-devours each or a cow?!?

I would be very straightforward with her with regard to it.

Give her a call and let her know that you hadn't planned for her daughters to come when you sent out the invitations so you're not sure there will be enough room. Tell her that you would love for them to come and that you will let her know if there will be room or not once everybody else has RSVPed.

That's presuming you don't mind the three daughters coming, of course. I don't think she has the right to assume they're welcome when they weren't invited so if you actually don't want them to come just tell her there won't be enough room or use a similar excuse (eg. no children if there's no other kids invited), if you don't want to upset her or make her feel embarrassed.

No the mother was rude to include her kids what are the ages if they are kids you could tell her sorry this is a party only for grownups and it wouldn't be fair for you to bring your kids when others have already made arrangements not to bring their kids. If they are adults you could tell her you planned on only so many people with a tight budget and you can't have them included in the party.

Give her a call or just let her know that there is only room for so many guests and the invitations are already out. She will understand.

I don't know about you guys but where I come from:

a. You do not invite one family memeber to something, that would be very very rude, even if the invitation is in the mother's name in such cases it is assumed that the daughters are invited too. If someone made it clear that I'm invited but not my sister, neither I nor my sister will go.

b. You did it and invited only the mom and she misunderstood; too bad, it's even ruder to tell her that her daughters are not invited. If that happend to me then I would not show and probably not show up to any other thing you invite me to.

I don't know how it works with you, but I would not only not say anything, but show her that I was happy her daughters are coming; you do not go back and tell people "you are not invited" because it doesn't get any ruder than that.

Edit: no room doesn't seem like a good excuse to me, if you don't have room then how come you're having a party?

The right should be deem with the authority of this event. You should not ask here, hereby whatever person you stated to invite should be followed. If the authorized person intend to invite others from the beginning you can explained to them. Even they argue according to law they can't seek your guilty for their mistake.

As long you got the authority and the decision seem no contradict from the invitation is alright.

if she's stupid you may have to politely tell her.I have childen and I always ask if it's something for kids, are any other kids gonna be there or just adults etc.