A trigee -A Tear or a Cheer?

Interesting Trigee. I took the liberty of rearranging this as I thought the right side should start first. The other thing with Trigees is the need to use transitional words to keep flow.

Today the sun shines..................But it’s a sad day

as my heart sings……………...…without a smile

Thoughts are mulled over……......as my head hangs low

If I should continue………….....…just wondering

To keep pen flowing……..….....…if I really exist

I've given up on writing these because of the lack of meter and rhythm.

It certainly is a Trigee, there is poetry in there... but I can't help but think more traditional forms produce a more fluid thought.

I hope you don't mind if I give you an example of my point by using your words. I'm not trying to write a different poem, only explaining why I have trouble with Trigees. I can't tell you if what you wrote is good or bad, I can only say... they confuse me, all of them.

My heart singing, the sun s bright

day turns sad with a broken smile

head now down and I lose precious sight

many thoughts mulled until dark night

I am here to wonder if I

should continue here and deny

that I might re-fuse to exist

with pen flowing while you're amidst

I wanted to say something constructive, and I certainly enjoy your poems, I hope this makes sense. I also hope someone more qualified in Trigees, gives you good tips related to them.

A sad today.........The sun shines

Without a smile....My heart sings

Head hung low......Thoughts are mulled over

Just wondering......Should I continue

If I exist................To keep the pen aflow.

I took the liberty of making a couple of changes that I think help with the flow of sound and thought.

This is a wonderful example of a trigee, especially because the meaning changes so much with each phase of reading the different parts. Thank you.

You've got me on this one. Your #1 is VERY strong and so is #3 in my opinion. #2 seems to have a bit of contrast within itself (which is absolutely fine) and leaves me confused. 'If I should continue' doesn't seem as joyous as the first 2 lines, as if there is still doubt within the singing heart, know what I mean?

I'm only trying to be helpful and offer my opinion. In no way am I qualified to critique anyone's hard work!

You done good!

Reenie is the Trigee Queen. She knows more than anyone about Trigees (except maybe for the form's creator).

Good choice. But can you make the lines flow better? They're a little bit choppy.

Excellent example MB...TY

Cheer! Keep that pen hot.