Can I try this again?

Question

I asked a question earlier about my ex and my daughter and I think that I didn't word it right so I'm going to try it again. 

Has anyone been in a situation where your ex is not keeping their promises to your child and showing up late when he tells her he will be there at a certain time (always late, or not at all). If so what did you do or say to help him understand that it was hurting your child? Do you see negative after effects in your child because of this?

By the way I have already told her that daddy is just forgetful and doesn't mean to tell her a lie. That he loves her very much and just has a hard time paying attention to the time.

MELANIE · Accepted Answer

I see that you are trying to make up for what your ex can't seem to be responsible for because you see it hurting your child.  Well, that isn't going to do her a whole lot of good, since he will be dissappointing her probably for the rest of her (or his life).  Don't make up for his inadequacies.  He is irresponsible and that is that.  Tell your child the truth ~ and don't let him make plans with your child that you know he has no intention of keeping his word about.  Better she realize the facts of that relationship ~ before she is hurt over and over again and begins to think it is her not him.  He is the irresponsible JERK here.  And you shouldn't have to make up for him.  Isn't that why he is your X and not still your husband and devoted father to your child (also his child) which he seems to have forgotten.  You can't change somebody else ~ tell him what he is doing to your child but if he doens't change ~ be honest with your child ~ they will be stronger and healthier because of it.

daljack -a girl · Answer

You can't change him.....only he can do that.

Continue to talk to your daughter about how even though he loves her....he sometimes has so many other things on his mind he forgets his promises to her.

As she gets older she'll understand this a lot better.....but the sad thing is she won't depend on him for anything.

Anonymous · Answer

I did have the same problem, First I made sure that my son knew it was not his fault. Then talked to the dad and asked that for now on if he doesn't plan on keeping his promises to him( my son) then don't make them and if something happens and he cant then to at least call.

carry me home · Answer

well why is he late? does he just forget? is he really just forgetful? or does he just not care? thats where the real truth is...why is he late?

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Can I try this again?

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