Comment on poem , any improvements to make this poem better & more in depth ?

Question

I wrote this to cope with my grandma death on Monday.  hope you can help.

The poem is as follows:

How do I comfort grieving daughters & sons missing & pining for their mother ?

What do I say to a woman who has lost her husband recently & now her mother ?

Who does a grieving husband turn to when he is thinking of his love , his late wife?

Where do I go when my mother is missing her mum and has to be strong for her father & family?

Why am I feeling so numb when I should be crying a river ?

When will this feelings of loss & sadness change to something better? 

So many memories with you, grandma that are whirling , floating in my thoughts.

I pray that you will join your love ones in heaven and may someday we will be reunited for eternity.

Mini C · Accepted Answer

Those are your words, thoughts and feelings and they are beautiful.... you shouldn't accept any outside influence... YOU'RE in the moment, not us and your family will appreciate it a lot!

Anonymous · Answer

Apart from the spelling corrections, I wouldn't change a thing.
Poems that have a lot of emotional significance and feelings in them really don't need to follow normal 'rules' of poetry.
Though I would prefer you write 'and' instead of having an ampersand (&)
That's all the critique I really have.
Nice work!

later · Answer

I THINK U SHOULD OUT A PREDICTIVE ANSWER FOR AFTER EERY SECOND OR EACH QUESTION... ITS VERY NICE BUT TO MANY QUESTIONS AND NO ANSWERS TRY FOR A QUESTION TO ANSWER LIKE THIS: IM LOOKING FOR ANOTHER ANSWE.... AN ANSWER THAT IIS PURSUING THE QUESTION...ITS IN MY MIND ITS IN MY SOUL BUT I CANT EXPLAIN IT IN HUMAN WORDS.... SOMETHING MYSTICAL TALK TO UR GRANDMA...LIKE I KNOW U ARE THERE AND WE ARE HERE BUT I STILL FEEL UR PRESENCE NEAR AND UR GRANDMA TALKS BACK: HONEY MY LOVELY GRANDCHILD I LOVE UU SO MUCH I MISS U THAT U CANT EVEN IMAGIN BUT I CANT GO FROM THIS PLACE YET.... WE ARE GONNA MEET ONCE AGAIN AT A PLACCE WHERE NO ONE CRIES AND THEN U WRITE IT LIKE MY GRANDMA SPOKE THIS TO ME IN MY DREAMS I KNOW IT WASNT ONLY A DRAEAM BECFCAUSE I FELT HER WARM HAND TOUCHING MY FORHEAD AND HER TIRED EYES WATCHING ME AMAZED... IM SORRY FOR UR GRANDMA

a_phantoms_rose · Answer

I am sorry you lost your grandma.
The poem is beautiful !
2 corrections, just spelling: "when will THESE feelings.."
and "that you will join your LOVED ones"...

It's really a good poem !

Trending News

Comment on poem , any improvements to make this poem better & more in depth ?

4 Answers