Buying a house together before marriage?

Ummm.. That doesnt really sound right. It almost seems as if he is trying to retain a home through you without a true commitment. I wouldnt buy a house with a boyfriend without a stronger commitment. I dont disagree that you should live with someone and make sure that your compatible living together before marriage but what would happen if you buy the house together, then break up? Imagine the hassles and problems you are going to have to endure to sell the house or have him buy it out from you or vise vera.. it will only drag out confrontation when all you want to do is get away. (Crossing our fingers that it doesnt get to that)

Think about it, your putting your credit on the line for him without a more serious commitment coming from him. Even if he is putting the money up for the house, are you comfortable with having your life put on hold while he desides how he really feels about you and if your marriage material? He may love you, but ask youself why he would want to wait on marriage but not a huge financial purchase? dont sell yourself short no matter how in love you are with him, because thats what you would be doing. I think that you should move into a nice sized apartment or rent a house together and live alone for a year. but I dont feel that is a smart move to buy a house together if he even said that it would be "better than putting a ring on your finger." (which to me sounds a bit shady.) He wants this house for "Him" not "Us".

Listen, Go by how you really feel and not by spme strangers advise. I think that in some cases outsider advise is good, but for your situation, go with your heart and your head. Any outsider you ask will give you a different opinion, as I dont feel that you should make that big a financial purchase without at least being engaged. But thats just me, someone else may say - Go for it! If he's paying, why the hell not! - How do your parents feel about him and what advise do that have to give on buying a house together? Do you feel you love him enough to spend your life with him? settle down with him? How much do you feel you trust him? I think 2 years together is enough time to get to know someone and know if marriage is right for you, but I feel he is procrastinating from making a commitment. Just dont wait 5 or more years for him to make up his mind.

Good luck with your desision and I hope this helped you in some way.

I can only speak from my own personal experience here, but I wouldn't do it. I bought a house with a guy I had been with for 2 years. We lived there for 3 years and then the problems got so bad that we broke up. I ended up losing about $12,000 because the housing market is so very bad. Also, while you may be able to get a house for a good deal right now, the fact that he thinks of the next big move in his life as either a house or "putting a rig on your finger fight now" doesn't sound the greatest--getting engaged and married are way more than just putting a ring on a finger.

I also think this is a bad idea BUT if you decide to go through with it, providing that you can actually find a lender, be absolutely certain to have a lawyer draw up a legally binding document detailing the "what ifs" if you should break up. Otherwise you could get stuck with the mortgage payment on your own, or end up without any house at all even though you may have shared the payments. Make sure that your half of the investment is protected. And by the way, a ring is MUCH less expensive than a house! I'm thinking maybe he needs to get his priorities in order.

Buying a house together is a big step. Know that both of you stand a huge headache if the relationship ends but that is also the same for marriage.

I've been living in our house with my boyfriend for 6 years now. We haven't gotten married but we view ourselves as married. Everyone we know refers to us as husband and wife. We are planning on moving to another state and buying a house there. Just make sure if your both going to be forking over money to the mortgage both of your names are on the title.

Marriage to me is nice when the two are committed to each other. We have friends who are married and miserable one is cheating the other is fed up. We are unmarried don't know if we ever will get married but neither one of us have any intention of going anywhere without the other.

If you aren't living together at this point. I would suggest renting either a house or apartment first. Living with someone is a true test to a relationship and I wouldn't dump a bunch of money into a house unless I had already lived with the person and that wasn't going to be an issue.

Hell no! It would be better for HIM to get a house rather than put a ring on your finger. Don't do it girlfriend! I don't see why people think buying a house is any less of a commitment than marriage. If you move into a home with this guy you will never get married. If you are okay with that, then go ahead. Think of all the implications this has, legal and financial.

Actually you could both get mortgage like this. The "Casual Poster" is incorrect. Banks can't make decisions on if 2 people are married. Two gay people could buy a house together, two friends could buy a house together, and a billion other scenarios.

The only thing is, that if it doesn't work out your both on a house and in this market it could take awhile to sell if u decide to part ways.

I'd get some kind of committment from him first.

Have you ever watched Property Virgins on HGTV? It is NOT a good idea to have a mortgage together if you are not in a very committed relationship, it things don't work out then what are you going to do about this house and your mortgage, it's not an easy thing to do to sell a house in today's market? He sounds to me to be a bit reluctant to "Put a ring on your finger" so maybe he isn't as serious about staying with you forever as he may want you to think. I think the first step sound be a wedding to prove your that you both are in this forever, Best of luck in whatever you do.

I would discuss it further with him. Ask him why buying a house is more important than getting engaged/married. Maybe he feels that you two should live together first before making the commitment to get married. It's probably not wise to both have your names on the house. This could cause problems if you ever do break up.

Unless you are sure that your future is with him, I wouldn't rush into it, that is, if you mean buying a house together. If he means just moving in with him, well, then, that is entirely up to how you feel about that.

If you do decide to buy a house with him, don't do it without getting it all done legally in equal shares or a percentage of ownership that will give either of you the first option to buy the other partner out if the relationship breaks up. By that, I don't mean simply sign a contract. Do it through a lawyer you know of, or your parents, or someone you trust, trusts.

TERRIBLE IDEA!

Whether the house increases in value (and with the current housing market, it will probably decrease over the next couple of years) you are both equally responsible for upkeep, mortgage etc. etc.

If you break up you will have to force a sale which may not be profitable. One of you may not be able to re-finance on your own.

Also, if one of you loses a job, if you have a baby, something happens, the other one is fully responsible for the bills, taxes, if a water pipe explodes. In the event of a breakup, it's 50/50 if it's a loss, which means you will have to pay to breakup.

TERRIBLE IDEA!