Family...money...and idk..I'm lost..?

Question

I'm really not sure what to do with my life anymore. Here's what's going on, it's kind of long and complicated, but here goes, I really need advice. I got a job this summer, it's minimum wage and I work about 20 hours a week and go to High School. (I'm 17) My parents have been having money problems, because my Dad is neglectful of his job and when he gets paid money disappears...but that's another story..and well, every time they don't have money I pay for not only things for myself, but also for my sister. If I don't they get angry with me. It's really frustrating me but if i say anything it turns into a fight. Should I just leave it alone and pay for things that should be bought by my parents or should I say something? I'm tired of fighting because my parents always say stuff like, 'if you don't like it..move out.' or they call me names and insult me...and yell and sometimes it can get almost to the point of violence. I can't focus on my schoolwork very much anymore and spend little to no time at home. My dad is very neglectful when it comes to money--we don't have cable, i pay for my own phone, we barely have enough food, and wouldn't if other family members didn't step in. (he doesn't go to work..or when he does he wastes money) I don't know what to do anymore. I have tried to spend little to no time at home..but then my parents get on to me about never being home and "neglecting" my family. Is this fair? What do you recommend doing? I just have to finish my senior year and then I'll be in college...should I just deal with it for the rest of the school year? Should I start saying no? I just don't know what to do...i want to just leave, but I don't want to impose and cause problems with my family--I love them. My boyfriend has offered me a place to go..and I spend every Saturday at his house, but besides that no one else is aware of my situation. (not fully anyway) I just need help and feel like I have no real options to consider.  Please help me. I could try working more hours, thus supporting them more, but I don't want to make my grades suffer anymore. Ugh..what should I do. 

Sorry this is so long and complicated..but please help.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

first dont do anything that will make your school work suffer. if you get a good education you can make sure that you can provide for your family. it is a very sad situation and i am sorry. i dont know how old your sister is but if she is old enough maybe she should get a job. try and not make your sister feel bad that you are buying her stuff cause it isnt her fault. i would set aside money you want to personally spend and then tell your parents that they are not supporting yall like they should. maybe you could go to the grocery store once a week and buy food for you and your sister to eat. i wouldnt move out because you dont want to abandon your sister. you and your sister need to stay together cause yall are both goin through the same things. but if your situation ever gets violent or becomes an unsafe enviroment then you need to tell someone that can help. it is not good or fair for you or your sister to grow up in those conditions. none of this situation is fair, but to be honest life isnt fair. stuff happens out of our control and we just have to learn how to deal with it or overcome it. also for you school work. try going to a library or cafe or something to do your homework so you can focus better. hope this helps. good luck with your situation. if you need anymore help/advice you can email me anytime.

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Family...money...and idk..I'm lost..?

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