Marriage in trouble due to drinking...?

Alcoholism is a family disease, his disease has effected you more then you may realize, as a matter of fact sometimes the person who is not drinking becomes more ill then the actual drinker. This will require you to take some steps in the direction of recovery, go to a alanon meeting, their you will find some people who will understand what your going thru, and can be of some help. You cant fix him, nor can you afford to live much longer in this insanity, think of yourself right now, get some help.

Since his immediate supervisors have done nothing it is time to get the command involved. Next time he starts throwing things, call the MP's. You have given him plenty of opportunity to address this issue and he has refused. By locking you out of the accounts and changing how the pay works, he is basically taking total control of how you and your daughter can live. This can often be a sign that his behavior is going towards a more abusive route and you need to do what you must to keep you and your daughter safe. Each and every time he throws items, starts yelling at you or makes any threats, call the SP's. If he is violent, you can insist on his being removed from the home. This will get the attention of the higher ups and they will order him into treatment. If that doesn't work, pack up and head to your family. Contact the command you are leaving and that he has cut you and your child off from all support. File immediately for child and spousal support once you get where you will be staying. It is harsh, but if he ignores that wake up call than clearly it is time to move on into a healthier life for you and your child.

People usually don't drink excessively just b/c there is something going on with him. I would try discussing the situation. Excessive drinking turns into violence b/c the other party (you) are not a professional and will say the wrong thing and he will become defensive if not violent. If communication between the two of you does not work find a support group and see how much you are willing to deal with and if it's to much take him up on his offer...he is the one who will loose..

Best of Luck

He needs help or a divorce and you may want to do as Valerie said and attend al-anon meetings. If he hasn't had a DUI yet its only a matter of time and then the spending and trouble truly begin.

Drinking is not such a bad thing if he does it in moderation, like drinking with his buddies on the weekends. Now if its a daily thing, then you every right to be worried (not to mention its not cheap!) Talk to him about limiting himself, if he is unresponsive I say take up his offer on the divorce because his drinking will only get worse.

al-anon for you. you get to talk to people who are in your situation and learn coping skills on how to handle it and to learn when you are enabling and when it's time for you to move on. and it's free.

if it's just you then stay as long as you like until you can't take it any more.

if there are children then get out now. The sooner the better for the sake of the children. They need to know that their home can be peaceful, safe, and not some place they are ashamed to bring their friends.

From someone with a drinking problem.

Sometime you just have to let them go I wish my wife would. Sometimes you are just enabling

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Find an Al-Anon meeting in your area.

I am serious.

Good luck to you!

It is you or the booze. It is a harsh reality but that is the truth. He will only get help when HE decides he wants help.