Future daughter-in-law is trying very hard to exclude me from my son's wedding and it hurts!?

Have you just met her or has she always been cold toward you?

I don't know her or you but have you tried to come across as trying to take over certain things like wedding planning or personal issues? She might feel like SHE wants to do things her way so ignoring you is her way of going about it.

Either way, she is wrong for treating you that way. I would be hurt also but I would forget about it...unless she continues to exclude you from things. In that case, I would speak to her about it. It could be a simple misunderstanding.

Dear Hurt yes they could bend the rules she either didn't think about that or maybe she doesn't think you want to go. either way y are between a rock and a hard place. because if you ask to go then she might say it's just for mom's and Daughter and then you would be hurt and embarrassed i think that i would let this one go try and do something really nice and heart felt for her to let her know that y all are so happy about the up coming wedding and let her know how much it means to have her as a daugther not in law some advice if you really want to bond with this girl never make her feel like the daughter in law it really does make a difference in how they will feel about you. When my son married i treated his nw like my daugther and even to this day we get along real good and they have since gotten a divorce there will be lots of times over the years that your feelings will get hurt and the best thing i can say is try and ignore most of them unless they are down right hurtful you will learn when to speak up and when to let it go so good luck on being a great New Mother

Sorry, but you are being overly sensitive. This was a Mother/Daughter bridal expo, not Mother, FMIL and Daughter Expo. I did invite my FMIL to various things, but inside prayed she would decline and I love the woman dearly.

This is a weird time for a mother and daughter as some of us suddenly get clingly to our Moms, knowing we will not be living with her anymore in a very short time.

She is not 'trying very hard to exclude you', so don't take offense. Instead reach out to her, call and tell her in a joking/serious manner "It's no fun being MOG, all the action is at the Bride's house. Is there something I could take care of or we could we go shopping for my dress together, so I can feel caught up in the excitement too?"

I have a son and daughter and understand this saying completely

A son is a son, until he finds a wife

A daughter is for life

Good Luck

Oh no! Don't be one of THOSE Mother in Laws. Get over it! She is not expected to include you, sorry to say. This is a time for her and her mother. Something they have been looking forward to for years. Maybe once they are married she will open up more but until then you can't force yourself on her. It's difficult. She already has a mother and you are not really able to be her "friend." It's a relationship that is very hard for a young girl to navigate. Not to mention that it is not customary for you to be included in wedding stuff. While planning the rehearsal dinner, invite her to be involved in that with you.

"Your daughter is your daughter for the rest of your life. Your son is your son until he takes a wife." True. . . so true.

Maybe the event has a guest list limit, and it really IS only for mothers and daughters.

I understand it must have stung a little - because you think out of polite-ness one of them should have turned to you, and asked if you wanted to come. I dont think she's trying hard to exclude you form the whole wedding because of this ONE incident.

There are plenty of other ways you can help with the wedding. Try a little bit harder to get along with them, maybe its easier to hang out with them one-on-one versus the two of them together. Try to find some common ground. You're going to all be related to each other soon! Start looking for what brings you together, instead of differences.

Good luck!

Unless this is just the tip of the iceberg, I don't see how not being invited to the wedding expo counts as excluding you from the wedding. It's very possible that your FDIL thinks of this as an opportunity to bond with her mother. It's also possible that she didn't want you to feel like a third wheel.

Sure it might sting a little bit, but try not to be hurt. Some people are just more warm and welcoming than others and it's possible that your FDIL fits on the cooler end of the scale. Don't take it personally.

Sorry you were hurt. That's no good. However, sometimes in life things aren't about us. This is a time to step back, and think that perhaps this is really about your FDIL's relationship with her mother. Perhaps it needs tending to. Perhaps they've never been able to bond over anything before, and this is an important event to do just that. Perhaps their relationship needs mending. Who knows. It would have been nice of her to ask you, but sometimes we don't know the complete dynamics of a relationship between mother and daughter. I suggest just stepping back (even though it hurts) and let the ladies bond. Find another wedding activity that you two can do together in the future.

I can understand why she'd want to go with her mom. The event was for mothers and daughters only. Planning a wedding is a great bonding experience for moms and daughters.

You're hurt because they were invited to the event in front of you. You could be hurt but I would get over it. There will be plenty of other wedding stuff that you can participate in. Leave this one for mom and daughter.

I know you want to be involved. For the lucky few, planning a wedding can bring both sides of the family closer together. But for most people, it does not necessarily. I think your best course of action is to be open to anything she wants you involved with; tell her you would love to help with something, but dont push your way in.

I do think this girl should be trying to include you, but the bridal expo is not the appropriate time/place, because the invite for mothers and daughters only. So I dont think you should be hurt over this one incident.

It's for mothers and daughters not mil too. I think you need to stop stropping about it all or you are gonna lose out big time on your sons life in the end. As long as you are invited to the wedding and you get on well with your son that's all you need. Remember if you fall out with the fdil you are gonna get problems even seeing any future grand kids. Bite your tongue and pretend to like her.