What are 10 things you feel you should do w/ your GF/BF before you 2 settle down?

My husband and I have been married for 19 years, and we have a great relationship and I can tell you only what I believe has worked for us all these years. First of all, trust is the most important thing in all relationships and marriage, and without it it is the number 1 killer of marriages and relationships. Trusting each other will actually make your love grow and become much stronger, than worrying everytime he or she walks out the door. If you think the other one is cheating everytime they leave with a friend or to go out, than it will never work. It seems you have a level head on your shoulders, but there are some things to concider before you make such a life commitment.

1. Family: If there is any unresolved issues with any family members on either side, it is very important to have them all resolved first. It only takes one family member that does not agree with you getting married to one another cause a situation later. It is always best to have all concerned approve of the marriage, and this also would include friends.

2. Healthcare issues: Make sure that after you are married that you have in writing what it is the other one should do in case of accidents, they have and do happen. This is a serious issue because if either one of you suddenly is unable to speak for themselves, it is up to the husband or wife to make all the decisions, so put things in writing and be clear about your wishes.

3. Finances: Be sure to have a plan to Save! Save! Save! before having children so you do not find yourself struggling paycheck to paycheck after the baby is born because of the costs of hospital, doctor, diapers, and formula. Babys are precious but expensive, and if your struggling to get by eventually so does your marriage.

4. Remember that no one is perfect including yourself. Appreciate each other every day, and tell each other that you love them when ever your going to be apart even if for a short time, you never know it might be your last words.

5. Take the time to do things together that you did when you first met, and do not let the hum drum daily rituals take your life over (get up, go to work, come home, eat dinner, watch TV, got to bed), this will weigh heavy after a while and bordom can cause one to seek excitement elsewhere.

6. Getting away often just the two of you or with another couple (not single friends) can have some positive reinforcement to a relationship that is if the other couple is a happpy couple. Never hang around friends going through a divorce or friends with relationship issues, this will definetly have consiquences.

7. Sex must NOT! become one of the things to do next weekend, have sex as often as possible it is the glue that keeps you together (no pun intended).

Well I do not have a total 10 specific things to give you but I hope what I have written will give you some insight. Remember only you know what you want in life and your partner must also want that for you and vice versa. Age Gracfully, Live Long, Party Hard, and Rock On!

Signed, 48, happily married with 2 kids 3 grandkids.

Marriage is not much different from living together, so you're half way there. Kids, however, are another story... here are my suggestions for pre-parenthood activities:

1) Adopt a pet (preferably a dog) to make sure you're ready to care for another living creature.

2) Have sex in every room of the house

3) Travel, travel, travel....

4) Try every fancy restaurant you can afford.

5) Buy yourself that great outfit that you thought was too expensive.

6) Go dancing until 3:00am and wear the sexiest dress you can find!

7) Explore any hobby you've wanted to try, but never had time.

8) Do any activity that might endanger your life (i.e., sky diving, bungee jumping, etc.) BEFORE you have kids - because doing so after would be wreckless - unless you have great insurance!

9) Buy the best house you can afford

10) Be the center of each other's universe - because when the baby comes he/she will occupy that spot in your heart for the rest of your lives.

You are making it sound like getting married will somehow 'restrict' your abilities to do things.... what is it that you are concerned about not being able to do when you are married? I married after 8 years in a relationship (we met at 18) and I don't feel like there was anything we/i couldn't do afterwards because of being married. The key things that were important before making that committment was to really explore future scenarios, expectations, opinons on things such as religion, money, children, working life, geographical location, dreams and desires for the future, morales etc. These are more important to really explore before getting married, things like travelling the world can be done whether you are married or not! Which brings me to the children point. I think most couples like to do some travelling and experience the world before having children simply from a practical point of view. So if you really want to go climb mt kilamanjaro then probably best to do it now. And go out at night, sleep in late one weekend and don't get dressed, go to the movies, museums etc....things that are practically difficult! Other than the practical side though I see one of my friends who has a baby who really approached it with the view that the baby is 'joining them for the journey' and its more a of a mental attitude: i.e. she takes the baby to restaraunts for dinner, travels extensively and still enjoys many of the same things as before. So i guess if depends on what kind of parent you are going to be as well.

I would say one thing that I am pleased we did AFTER marriage is to continue to develop our own personal interests or hobbies and also see friends separately/go away once in a while with a girlfriend or him to spend a day with the guys. Its so important to spend enough time TOGETHER but also to make sure that you keep some of your own identity and also have other people to talk to about different things (like shoes for example!!!). I like this because then when we spend time together we have a lot to talk about and are genuinely pleased to spend time together.

Since you're both young, I'm going to address the more common causes of divorce--that will help you:

1. Each get your college degrees, this will eliminate the stress at one point or another of MONEY--which is probably the #1 cause for divorce

2. Know each other's financial habits and make sure you can live with it, this will probably not change.

3. Make sure you are debt free going into the marriage.

4. Understand that you are both going to change, because you are young, your still maturing as you experience life and developing opinions.

5. Make sure that you love one another's family, because in the most difficult times, it is family that we turn to and it is important that they are accepting of your mate.

6. Make sure that you both feel the same about starting a family or not having children at all.

7. Do you know what one anothers goals in life are and are you willing to accept that these may change and you must be supportive.

8. Part ways now with potential negative influential friends.

9. Make sure you know that you are not always going to agree and that is ok--you must be willing to compromise.

10. Make sure that you are ready for a lifelong committment.

1. Finish School

2. Have a few disagreements.

3. Travel

4. Husband should be able to support a family (not rich, just support needs)

5. Date for at least two years (check!)

6. Get out of debt and don't get into new debt ever (especially for wedding or rings).

7. Build a really good savings.

8. Workout together.

9. Make sure you are best friends.

10. Buy family needs (washer/dryer, reliable car, a good mattress, a small home, etc.)

1. Go on a vacation together, for at least a week. Honestly, it will test your love because it will be just the two of you. No friends to go out with, no family to have dinner with. Just you.

2. Actually discuss your ideas on raising children. You need to both be on the same page for when the time comes.

3. If there are any big secrets either one of you are hiding, get them out now. Eventually they will come out and it's better to know now before you take a big step towards marriage.

4. Just learn to talk to one another about your problems. This will help when big problems enter your life.

That's only four, but they're important.

1. Education

2. Career

3. Save Money (Future, marriage, kids, house)

4. Live Separately (Its better to live on your own first)

5. Party

6. Travel

7. Get Engaged

8. Buy House

9. Joint Banking Account

10. Love (The most important thing of all)

1. Sleep in as much as possible. Seriously. When you have kids, sleep goes out the window.

2. Party (just like someone else said). Go out, be crazy, cherish your time without children. you'll cherish your time with your children so much more if you aren't feeling like you missed out on something by having them.

3. Travel as much as possible.

4. Go out as much as possible. Movies, dinner and enjoy quiet evenings alone without a little person running around the house and toys strewn everywhere.

That's pretty much all I got! My kiddo was a pleasant surprise and luckily I'd traveled the world and partied my butt off before I got pregnant, so I don't feel I missed out on anything. Being a parent is the best thing in the world--you'll enjoy it...when you're READY! Good luck! You both sound like you have your heads on straight--best wishes for a wonderful future!

I give you SO much credit for this question. I wish every couple thought like you did. I guess one thing to consider is finances, and planning ahead for the future.

You have to make sure you have a very comfortable nest egg. Make sure you and your husband both agree where the money will be invested, and if it would be best to wait on getting a big home till you have kids.

Best advice is SAVE,SAVE,SAVE beforehand so there's no financial burdens on you later in life.

Travel. See things you've always wanted to see, but see them in person...Big Ben, the Eiffel Tower, the Leaning Tower of Pisa, Mickey Mouse, the Arch in St. Louis, the Sears Tower, the John Hancock Building...you see where I'm going.