Can a marriage be saved that's downward spiraling towards divorce?

one thing I have learned is you cant "save" a marriage..... it takes two people, and all you can do is change yourself. obviously you still love her, but it doesnt mean the same for her. first of all change your behavior. dont fight the good I would rather be right then happy fight because you will lose in the end. instead validate her feelings, dont even talk about what you go through because you both are different people and until you are in each others shoes you will never know. she needs some time out by herself, get out with her girlfriends and same goes for you. daily routines will kill the passion, time to get some challenge back into the scene. do yourself a favor sit down and think why should you keep on with this marriage, is it really for love or the time put into it? as far as she is gone for two days it really isnt a huge deal she needs to get out. and spend some time with the ladies. cut her a break and call over some of your guy friends :)

lastly this is the one question that really matters..... does she make you a better person? and more importantly do you make her a better person. answer honestly and truthfully and there is your answer.

I think you two need to sit down and have a serious discussion where you feel this relationship is headed.

Tell her you want to fight to keep the marriage, but you also need more cooperation from her.

And if that means marriage counseling, then she has to be willing to go.

It sounds as if the stress of family life and work has taken over, and now you guys are left with a boring routine.

At one time, there had to have been some common interests you both shared.

One can only sit in front of the computer for so many hours without getting bored to death.

How about incorporating some exercise into your lives?

Go out for a walk, get some endorphins into the blood stream.

Go see a movie, without the kids, at least once a month.

Go to the zoo and have a picnic.

She seems to be taking advantage and manipulating you. She needs to come back down to earth. Tell her you have something to say to her and then communicate the above points. Tell her you cant go on living like you are because you are not happy. Watch her reaction. If she really didnt understand what you were feeling, she would talk it through with you and start to make an effort. If she is not bothered and is indifferent, then its time for you to make a decision. You deserve better treatment and this relationship seems to be one sided. Good luck.

I definitely feel for you. Have you considered that the ways you are showing her you love her aren't the ways she wants to be loved? My husband and I had some problems a few years back and I felt like we were headed for divorce for sure. A friend recommended a book called "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. I am not religious but the book still made sense to me. You might give it a try as well.

Best of luck to you. Unfortunately, if she isn't willing to go to counseling, you might consider it for yourself.

If there are problems communicating..

Why don't you show her this post?

Or write how you feel down in a letter for her.

Is she aware of how seriously this is bothering you??

Why don't you insist that you both make time to talk about this. The sooner the better.

Why don't you ask her how she feels also, talk about what you can both do to work all this out?

What she wants, what you want, are you still in love? missing excitement?

You really need to talk about this.

Best wishes.

take a piece of paper divide into into two columns on one side write what is good about your marriage on the other what is bad. look the list and decide if you want to live this way or not. if you do just settle and make the best of it. if you don't call a lawyer

YES! This covenant can be restored EVEN IF YOUR PARTNER WANTS OUT, rejects you, hates you, whatever!! The fact is YOU WANT this and it will work. If one person in the covenant is willing to STAND on the promise of that covenant, your marriage can and WILL be healed. ONE things only...this time you do it God's way. The first thing is that you need help, God's help. (not religion) Check out www.rejoiceministries.org and click on right column of 'restored marriages'. I have been standing on the covenant promise for 2 years. I still believe my marriage can be resurrected...though not of myself. I don't know how I know it, I JUST DO. IT's profound. If you think you can do it alone, good luck. I am here for you if you need help. You can try and try to make it work with your spouse but ultimately, you need God's help or you will not have the glue needed to accomplish but only a superficial restoration. You will learn to love unconditionally, walk in forgiveness, and listen to your heart. It will be a painful course, but will yield results. But don't trust me...trust those that have BEEN THERE!. You may think I am full of SH*T as you do not know me. I might be. So check out the links. Think about it. Get back to me. Regards...... Chaz

nooo