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What do you think about the new atheist agenda?
We just had our quarterly conference call. It's going to be an exciting winter, to be sure. We've decided to introduce a pilot program in certain test markets around the country that will replace our usual wintertime "War on Christmas" with a "War on Channukah." Upper management seems to believe that we will be able to create a synergy between this and our yearly recruitment drives, maximizing our effectiveness in both fighting religious holidays and recruiting new heathens.
Apparently the ROI on a "War on Channukah" is expected to be quite favorable in certain markets (but not others, of course.) I just wish that the higher-ups would discuss these matters with us before they made decisions that effect ALL of us atheists.
So fellow atheists, what are your thoughts on our new agenda? Do you think that maybe we could eventually break into the Ramadan market if this "War on Channukah" thing works out in the end?
Also, do you know when we're going to get a better dental plan? I think I'm getting a cavity.
Ryan: You completely lost me. Please do not use Yahoo! Answers while you are shooting up heroin. You end up being completely incoherent.
vérité: They haven't released which markets are going to be used to test this pilot program, so you may luck out and end up in a Christamas-friendly region anyway. Best of luck! (And dare I say "Merry Christmas?")
What? Me Worry?: These are different times, indeed.
Soul Kitchen: Yes. You are wrong. I figured that since we get called out about the War on Christmas every year, there is no use denying it any further: Atheism is a highly organized bureaucratic corporation dedicated to converting the religious, maximizing revenue, and fighting Christmas (and now Channukah in certain test markets starting this year!) Yes, I am technically breaking the NDA that I signed when I joined, but this is the internet! I'M ANONYMOUS!
Inanimate Phoenix Something Dramaqueen: I think your FACE looks like a troll. OOOH SNAP.
6 Answers
- Anonymous1 decade agoFavorite Answer
Very funny satire. You should get together with the pastor and write dual monologues. Do you grok in fullness?
- What? Me Worry?Lv 71 decade ago
Quite frankly, Bingo, I still favor our old policy of kick the door in and machine gun them. But things change and the agenda moves forward. I suppose we all have to adjust to the new times.
Source(s): Gunner. - LoosidLv 61 decade ago
I'm a Christian and this seems completely tongue in cheek. Im surprised the atheists who have answered and thumbed up havent seen it too. Am I wrong?
- véritéLv 61 decade ago
I know! The dental plan is terrible... hopefully that gets fixed soon.
Anyway, I'm going to be celebrating Christmas with my family this year... don't tell the boss.
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- ryanLv 51 decade ago
I think your letting the whole atheist thing go to your head, its not a fantasy life, sucks for you that you put your time into writing all that.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
I think you're full of it.
Troll.
